Beyond the Distant Stars
by FallingForBooksAndYou
Summary: At nights, he sits on the window sill of his room, his knees drawn to his chest, his gaze upwards, his eyes as blue as the deep, uncharted depths of the ocean, searching, reading. His eyes read the hidden stories that hung in the sky, written on the fireballs of dreams and wishes, hand-picking tales that hung beyond the distant stars, where his saga was being written...
1. Prologue

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**__**Hello guys. For readers who have managed to stumble upon this story twice, I am sorry I took it down without any notice or information. This story used to be called "The Calls of His Heart". Now, the essence of the story is the same, but mostly it is a completely different story. While maybe you have never looked for it again, I just want to inform you that reading back, I hated the direction the story was going in, the way I was writing and the amount of useless information I was giving. I hope you like this much better. I welcome any reviews and PMs you have regarding this story, or regarding anything and I would appreciate if you would take some time to tell me what you guys think of this story and ways you would think this could be improved. Also, any ideas, questions or suggestions you have regarding this story can be asked through PM or reviewing. While I don't care much about follows or favorites, I would like to know that you guys like my work (although reviews will definitely be appreciated more). **_

_**The guest reviewers will be answered in these notes I will leave in every chapter at the end of it, and the other reviewers will be answered through PM. If there is a question widely asked by people, I would post it so I don't have to answer it again and again. **_

_**Now as for the schedule of my updating, it will be quite a long time between updates since I am a busy person. I would try to update at least once a month. I am sorry if you guys don't appreciate it, but I hope you guys understand. Thank you so much for reading this enormous note. **_

_**DISCLAIMER**__**: I do not own Divergent Series. **_

**PROLOGUE**

I never thought that a single event, a single night, could change my life. I never thought that losing someone could have such a profound impact. And I never thought that the one person who has loved me unconditionally, who has loved me from as long as I remember, will one day be snatched away from me by the cold, painful truth of death.

But I also never thought that from the event that caused me ineffable pain, I could find friendship and love so profound and so deep, that I felt our very souls rejoiced when we met. I never thought that a stranger could make the difference in my life when I never give the power of my life to anyone. I never thought that the agonizing pain of death could be eased away by the sweet, yearning love that life offers.

I was 12, and she, 10. I had walked away after the funeral, calm, composed, politely letting Marcus know that I was going for a walk, my voice strong, the sound seemingly unaffected by the lump in my throat, my posture seemingly indifferent towards the death of my mother.

Reaching the park, I sat under the tree, staring at the ground and a tear rolled down. Then, another rolled down and _another_ and _another_. A sob escaped me and I let it, and the dam finally broke as my sobs and cries knew no bounds.

"Why are you crying?" I heard an innocent, young voice ask, _her _innocent, young voice, and I wiped the tears away, looking away, my tears giving way to my curiosity, as I stared at the girl with long blonde hair. Her intriguing eyes were blue-gray, like the sky during the storm, holding the dreamy tint, which held a speck of wonder, innocence shining in them.

"Did someone hurt you? Did the erudite bully you?" She continued, asking potential reasons for my sobbing. "Don't worry, I will teach them a lesson. It's bad to make someone cry."

She looked expectantly at me, but I blinked in confusion and shock. I blinked again, before I shook my head. "No", I replied, my voice hoarse and coarse from the crying. "It's not that."

"What is it, then?"

"Why do you care?" I scowled, blaming her for interrupting my mourning. Can't I just have some time alone to grieve for my mother?

"Because you are sad, and Mom says it is selfless and Abnegation-like to held sad or needy people. I will make my Mom proud of me."

"My m-mom", I said, stuttering a little, the words escaping involuntarily. "She died."

"You are the son of Marcus Eaton and Evelyn Eaton", she said, blinking in surprise.

I nodded in affirmative, tilting my head, looking at her with a curious gaze, my sobs and tears forgotten.

"I have a cousin", she started and I gazed at her intensely, sniffling slightly, wondering where she is going with it. "He is 2 years older than me, and he was born in Erudite. His dad is dead, and his mom had an accident which resulted in her being in coma for 3 years. He stayed with us till he went back a week ago when his mother recovered. If he can learn to laugh despite all his problems, you can too. I believe you are strong enough. Maybe all you need is a little help."

I nodded, though I didn't agree. My life is too messed up, and too much was on stake for me to think of making friends. I tried to ignore the slightest twinge of warmth in my chest when she said she believed in me. But what if Marcus found out about it? What if the beatings I got wouldn't only be limited to me? Suddenly, a vision, a dreadful, cruel vision, that would take my sleep my away from me for months, if not years, flashed before me, and I shuddered, the image of the kind girl, whose name I had not yet known, lying beaten with the Belt on the floor of my house, haunting me, slowly consuming me.

"Tobias?" The sweetest sound of my name made me snap out of the excruciatingly painful vision I saw of the bloody, limp, body of the girl.

She gave me a hesitant look. "That's your name, right?"

I nodded. "Tobias Eaton", I confirmed, thoroughly confused by the sudden urge to demand her to call me by my name, to listen to the soft, melodic sound it seemed to produce. What was this strange power she had over me, this curious yearning only she seemed to bring out in me?

"I am Beatrice Prior. My brothers, though, call me Bea. You can call me that, if you want."

"Bea, it suits you", I replied.

"My big brother, cousin actually, gave me that nickname."

"Why do you call your cousin your brother?"

"He feels like it", she replied, smiling, a certain fondness in her smile that reflected in her captivating blue gray eyes. "He protects me."

I tilted my head, feeling a strange yearning to feel that. Not only protected from the dangers of life that I had been exposed to far too soon, in Mom's opinion at least, but also feeling that care and love for someone enough to want to protect them. After all, no one made me feel responsible of them, or protective.

I had glanced thoughtfully at the girl, Bea, as she had babbled on about her brother and cousin, the rambling more comforting than annoying. This weird emotion that made me want to get close to her, made me fear for her safety, made me terrified at the mere thought of a scratch on her, what was it? How can a girl who just knocked on the door of my bruised life, politely but forcefully entering, had made me yearn for something I didn't comprehend? Is it the fire in her eyes that I was just noticing? Or the enchanting talks that made me sit here in this park with her which seemed more like the Garden of Eden, she the apple tree and every touch I yearned the apple? Or the sweet melody that seems to ring into my ears when she speaks, the sudden burning warmth when her lips forms the name I call mine? Or is it something else entirely, something I couldn't see, didn't see? Could it be _all_? Could it be _none_?

"…I have to go", she seemed to have been saying and I snapped out to refocus on her at the words.

"Can't we talk some more?" I found myself asking before wincing when I saw the fleeting look of surprise flash over her pretty features.

"I am sorry. My parents would be getting worried. And wouldn't your Dad be getting worried too? How about we talk more some other day?"

"Maybe", I replied, not having the heart to say a downright 'no' to her hopeful eyes, though I knew without a shadow of doubt that this will not be a normal occurrence. I will not let anyone know about this weird yearning nor what she could possibly mean to me, especially Marcus. Maybe a few selfish moments…

I was pleasantly cut off when I felt small arms wrap around my neck, and I closed my eyes instinctively, inhaling in her scent of strawberries and chocolate. My arms reached up and I put my hands gently on her lower back. My eyes were still closed, and I suppressed the sigh of content that was embarrassingly threatening to escape, trying to commit to memory the intoxicating scent that lingered around her.

She pulled away too soon, and her face reddened like a tomato and I suppressed the small grin into a small smile, the blush on her face making her look more beautiful. Every second I spend with her made me think of her more and more.

"I am sorry", she murmured. "I didn't know what compelled me to do that. It was like something told me to. Never mind."

"I liked it", I blurted out, mentally wincing when I saw her surprised look.

"Me too", she whispered, blushing. "But let's keep it between us."

"Of course", I nodded, understanding her reluctance. Physical contact or any sort of affection, really, has always been frowned upon in Abnegation.

She smiled gratefully at me, her blush not quite gone, before she stood up, dusting her clothes off, and I followed.

"Bye, Tobias", she said, before dashing away towards the residential area of the Abnegation sector.

"Bye", I whispered into the empty park, before I sighed, walking towards my own house.

That night, Marcus' grief was too profound for him to really focus on taking his anger out on me. I sighed in relief as I sat on the window sill in my bedroom, clutching tightly the photo of Mom and I, the only one I have of hers. It was uncommon for Abnegation members to have photos of anyone, considering it selfishness, but Mom and I always had a rebellious streak. We never quite fit in. Maybe it was because of the abuse or maybe it was just how we were.

In moments like these, when I had nothing particular to do, when it was just Mom and me, and after her death, just me, I liked to close my eyes, thinking up of a life, where every morning, Marcus, who I would have called 'Dad' would go to his office, a sweet look of love passing between them, and reminding me to be selfless and good, to help those who need it, where Dad would teach me about the ropes of being an Abnegation, maybe someday being a leader. The imagined, stolen moments made me look at Marcus a second too longer, trying to figure out where _I _went wrong, whether he would tell me so I could be the perfect son, so I could try to fit in, so the stolen moments I imagined weren't stolen anymore, weren't imagined anymore and sometimes, these moments made me look at myself a moment longer, trying to figure whether all along, it was _he _who was wrong, and whether I had the guts to say that maybe I am not the useless creature he makes me out to be, but rather the glasses through which he views me is foggy with fog of his ignorance.

I looked out of the window, resting my head on the side of the window pane, as I looked up at the stars, who were shining brightly. I briefly glanced down, my eyes widening when I noticed Bea, as I quickly hid myself, not entirely sure why.

And just like that, through the night till she sat, gazing at the stars, I watched her from behind the curtains, fascinated by her little habits- Her biting her lip or the inside of her cheek, running a hand through her hair, drumming her fingers, to name a few. Her eyes never strayed once from the beautiful fireballs that hung in the dark, searching for something. Maybe she was searching for the stories which were beyond the distant stars, looking for an escape in the unworldly enigmas, the way I spend innumerable nights listening and reading to the stories that are unspeakable, unreadable, intangible.

And thus started the story of my life, the significant part, the worth-remembering part, at least, one which I hope will be written among the stories I read which hangs in the sky, welcoming anyone who reads them in the blinking of light in the darkness.

My name is Tobias Eaton and this is my story.

_**AUTHOR'S **__**NOTE-**__**I am sorry you have to read this annoyingly long messages. I hope you guys like the Prologue. The next Chapter will be longer and I hope you guys hang around for it. The Point of View's in this story will keep switching from people to people, depending on the situation and scene. Majority of it would be Four, though. Either way, please do tell me how you felt about this starting. I don't mind criticism and I definitely don't mind compliments. **_


	2. Chapter I

_**Author's Note: **__**Hello guys. It has been a long time since the Prologue. It has been some very hectic weeks and I didn't have time to update. I am extremely sorry. **_

_**To all the people who reviewed, favorited and followed, thank you **_**_so much. You cannot possibly imagine how happy you made me. You guys always make my day when I read the reviews that you have posted. Thank you so much._**

**_This chapter will be taking a 4 year leap after the events of the Prologue. I hope you guys like this chapter and find it up to your satisfaction. Again, I would like if you would review, because as I mentioned before, it makes me immensely happy and my happiness knows no bounds when I read your reviews. Constructive Criticism is always welcomed, and in fact, encouraged because it gives me a lot to think about and work on. Read and tell me what you guys think about this. _**

* * *

**Chapter 1**

**Four's P.O.V.**

**4 years later…**

The sound of laughter echoed in my ears, and I rested my head against the window sill, sighing in content, as I watched her giggle with her brother. It has been just under 4 years since the funeral of Mom… and since my meeting with Bea. The pain I felt hasn't lessened, and my only release, my only relief, was watching her. Over the years, she has lost that happy and carefree look that had fascinated me. She had hardened, her eyes veiled with sadness, and the rare sounds of laughter, of joy that I hear from her, make me cherish them because they weren't just rare, they were precious. The loving look in her eyes had turned to a fierce, intimidating look. If the eyes are really a window to the soul, then I can see, I can _feel_ her soul as clear as a crystal is. Her soul is made of fire, but the fire is diminishing here, slowly flickering out. Does she realise it? Does _anyone_?

The infatuation I felt for Bea, the yearning, has subsided. Instead, something else, something warm ignites in my stomach when I hear her voice, when I see her, when I smell of strawberries and chocolate, a smell I had associated with her. The warmth can consume me, destroy me, and hurt me. It's ruling over me, and all if I let myself surrender, it will take me. And the thought terrified me.

The rare moments of peace I allow myself, the rare moments of selfishness where I talk to her, the warmth I feel when I am so close to her, it's overwhelming. My senses are always overridden, but strangely, I never hate or fear or run away from it, instead my instincts, my soul, my being, they all want me to get closer, and when I look at her creamy skin, all I want is a single feel, a single touch, feel if touching her would feel really as electric as the sense of electricity _I _feel when I am close to her.

My eyes followed Bea's form, as I snapped out of my confusing thoughts, not giving them too much thought because they never seem to make sense at all, at least from after I met her.

The sound of the door slamming made me break my gaze away from the sight of Bea and her brother, Caleb, as they entered into their house. My gaze locked onto the door, praying with all my heart that he doesn't come up. My prayers, as always, are left unheard, or maybe, deemed unimportant.

"What was your result?"

"Abnegation", I replied, standing and straightening up as he always wants me to be.

He narrowed his eyes, and my heart sped up, the adrenaline rushing throughout my body, at the familiar and dangerous look.

"And what will you choose tomorrow?"

"Abnegation", I lied smoothly, looking into his eyes, and standing still.

"You think you can lie to me?"

"I'm not lying", I protested, inching backwards, the movement hardly noticeable.

He moved forwards and out of instinct, I backed away, flinching a little, as he raised his belt, which he had already taken off. I held up my hands in a defensive position, hastily saying, "The Choosing Ceremony, Dad."

I waited with baited breath, although I was sure that he won't hit me on the face, at the very least. A slight inkling of suspicion to anyone and Marcus' reputation is tarnished, his convincing façade of selflessness forcibly snatched from him.

"Turn around, you know the drill", he said, and I refrained from sighing, instead obeying the command, taking off my shirt, kneeling on the floor.

* * *

I winced; gritting my teeth, as I carefully lay on my stomach, bare-chested as the air irritated my bleeding wounds a little. I glared at anything my eyes rested on, my eyebrows furrowed together, before promptly deciding to change my factions. I couldn't survive in Abnegation.

The aptitude test result didn't tell me anything. All I know is that I'm something different. Marcus taught me (more like beat into me) how to get a perfect Abnegation result. After all, if I get or choose anything except Abnegation, how will he keep the façade of being the perfect, selfless Abnegation father, who had _tragically_ lost his wife?

I pulled myself out of my sarcastic thoughts, instead thinking of all the factions that I have the option of choosing from. Firstly, Amity is a definite no. They are so cheerful and happy all the time. What is there to be so happy about it? Sometimes I think they are drugged with some sort of serum. I made a face imagining myself there for a moment.

Candor is also a no. They are a bunch of jerks, who think that being truthful is always right. Someone teach them the meaning of tact, please. Besides, I heard they give truth serum in the initiation, and make you babble secrets. Then I will babble about Marcus and that will end up in pity from everyone in the city, and that will be stifling. I shuddered, thinking about the possibility.

Erudite is also a no. I hate studying, and I don't have the thirst for knowledge like the usual erudite do. If I have to be brutally honest, I would rather stay in Abnegation than think about going to Erudite.

That leaves Abnegation and Dauntless. While Abnegation is a terrifying choice, the 16 years of negligence, and 9 years of abuse, seeming to be just a trailer, Dauntless is an equally pulse-quickening choice. Dauntless is new and different, with different people and ideologies, while Abnegation is familiar, with the same ideologies and people I grew up with. While Abnegation has Marcus, it also has Bea, someone who has given me the will to live, someone who has been my saviour without even realising it, someone who makes me feel unexplainable, confusing things that I have never felt before. Dauntless has neither. Dauntless can be a fresh start.

* * *

I opened my eyes, blinking rapidly to clear out the bleariness, as I sat up, and stretched, wincing when my stiff back hurt my already agitated wounds.

I looked at the clock, moving gingerly around the room, noticing that I had more than an hour and half to get ready. I took a long shower, sighing when the hot shower relaxed my sore muscles. I got dressed, moving out of the room, my back straight though it hurt to do so.

I found Marcus sitting on the dining table with two plates of breakfast set on opposite sides of the table, one of which was before Marcus. He ate from it, being the true Abnegation leader that everyone assumed him to be.

"Good morning, Tobias", Marcus said.

"Good morning", I said, sitting down to eat my breakfast. It was times like these when I see what Mom saw in Marcus. It was times like these when I didn't really cringe about thinking of Marcus as Dad. It was times like these that made me want to freeze time.

Sometimes I couldn't help but feel as if Marcus goes into a phase where he doesn't realise what he is doing. I couldn't help but feel that after the beatings, after the degradation and insults, Marcus is someone else entirely. It's almost like the beatings are another part of his personality and the Abnegation leader another.

Does he realise what he is doing? Or does he black out and then wake up, feeling normal, as if he didn't just beat the hell out of his only son. It doesn't matter either way, because the Belt won't hurt any less, and the words won't cut any shallower.

I shook my head to clear those thoughts, focusing instead on my breakfast, shoving a bite of my scrambled eggs into my mouth, forcing myself to keep chewing.

My nerves couldn't be contained, and my thoughts wandered to arguably the most important choice of my life. Out of the two factions that I could think to consider, I was leaning towards Dauntless. While moving to a new faction was daunting, Dauntless were known for their easy acceptance. Also, Dauntless was a faction for the free, who gave freedom in ample, something which I have longed for for as long as I remember.

"Are you ready?" Marcus asked, and I quickly shoved the last bite of the eggs in my mouth, nodding, chewing as I kept the dishes into the sink.

"It will hurt for just a second, and then the right choice will be made", Marcus said, calmly as we were walking towards the hub, where the Choosing Ceremony each year was held.

I nodded, though I couldn't think of any way how a small cut from a knife would possibly be more painful than the Belt. Maybe I was right and Marcus was an entirely different person when he wasn't the monster that shook me to the core when it emerged.

"I trust you will make the right choice", Marcus continued.

I nodded again. I _will _make the right choice. But right for whom?

Me, the answer came almost immediately to me.

We reached the hub with minimal talk, neither of us really the talkative type, climbing the score of stairs, and Marcus wrapped his arms around me for the first time in his life, at least the first time I could remember. I stiffened, not used to the contact, before he pulled away.

"I will wait for you", he said, not a hint of doubt, and I had to applaud his confidence. I nodded, nevertheless, moving away to stand in the long row of 16 year olds that would be choosing today.

I watched with barely hidden interest when Dauntless entered with loud shouts and cheers. Though the loud noise did not appeal to me, the sense of freedom they clearly enjoyed, did.

Selflessness and Bravery aren't all that different. They emerge when you think about someone else other than yourself. Maybe fitting in Dauntless won't be as difficult as I had previously thought. After all, I had pretended to fit in in Abnegation for 16 years; maybe fitting in in Dauntless would come more naturally. If not, then I have had 16 years of practice of pretending to fit in.

Jeanine Matthews, the leader of Erudite started talking about the origin and development of the factions, a speech I had listened more times than I care to count. As the son of the leader of Abnegation (and who he hoped would be another leader), I had attended every choosing with Marcus.

Somewhere in the past hour, they had started calling out names, which didn't really made me interested, as I stared at the depleting line of 16 year olds, debating which is better. In Dauntless, there is freedom, and here, in Abnegation, there is Bea. But who said that she won't change her factions when she is 16? If the fiery eyes, unhappy sighs and annoyed looks are any indication, then she hates to be in abnegation. What would I have left?

I shook my head, nodding determinedly to myself, my choice made.

"Eaton, Tobias", they called maybe an hour later, and I stepped onto the slightly raised platform, holding my head up, my back straight, just as Marcus wants me to be. I accepted the knife from Jeanine with a 'thank you' as I stared at the sizzling coals and the dull Abnegation grey stones. I cut my palm with little difficulty, glancing at Marcus. He nodded, his eyes hardened, and I saw the monster reflecting in the deep blue oceanic eyes, that I had inherited from him. The look made my choice immensely easier and I looked back at the bowls.

I held up my bleeding hand atop the hot coals, as a drop of blood dripped into them, sizzling atop the dying embers.

"Dauntless", Jeanine announced and there was a stunned silence that wrapped around the hub. I put the knife back, walking towards the black clothed 'hooligans' (as Marcus calls them), as I _finally _heard the characteristic howls and cheers. It made me smile a little how easily they can accept people, as a person left his seat for me. Another clapped me on my back, and I forced the smile to not turn into a grimace, as pain shot through my stiff and sore back.

As the Dauntless settled down, I sneaked a glance at Marcus to see him looking livid at me, his eyes showing the monster that I had lived in the fear of for 16 long years. I swallowed thickly, somehow more convinced that I made the right choice for myself, and looked away.

I looked away from Marcus and the monster that had made me dread him. I looked away from Abnegation life that I had lived for the past 16 years. And I looked away from the scared Abnegation that I used to be. Instead I looked on towards the freedom that will soon be mine. Instead, I looked on towards the Dauntless life that I will soon start. And instead, I looked on towards the Dauntless boy that I will eventually, hopefully, transform into.


	3. Chapter II

_****Author's Note: ****__****Hey guys. What's up? Once again, thank you for reviewing and favoriting and following. I am not going to take much of your time here. I just wanted to remind you to review please. You know that makes me happy. :) ****_

_****This chapter is about Tobias's entry into Dauntless and his fear landscape. I hope it is up to your expectations. ****_

_****P.S.:****__****There will be a lot of changes in the story that will deviate majorly from the story. I have tried to keep them all in character but I am sorry if I somehow misjudged them. ****_

_****Disclaimer:****__****I do not own Divergent Series.****_

* * *

****Chapter 2****

**Tobias****'****s P.O.V.**

I followed the rest of the Dauntless, running behind them, ignoring my stiff and sore back. The sound of the train made my adrenaline rush when I realized that the initiation starts now, that the first trial is jumping onto the train as I have seen countless Dauntless do.

The train rushed past us, and I, along with bunch of others, ran alongside it. I watched carefully, not slowing my steady and fast pace, as one of the Dauntless swung his body upwards flawlessly into the train. I intimated him, and though it wasn't perfect, I didn't fall back out of the train, stumbling into the car with a bunch of other 16 year old's, who I am guessing are the initiates.

I stepped back into the shadows, merging with them slightly, as I watched quietly as the rest of the initiates; particularly the Dauntless-born greeted each other with cheers, and howls. The transfers, clad in various blues and whites and reds, talked to each other, as new friendships formed.

"Hey", I heard a loud voice say next to my ear, and my head snapped towards the voice. It was the voice of a Dauntless-born, tall, about 5 feet 10, just a couple of inches shorter than me, and dark skinned. I nodded in acknowledgement.

"I am Zeke", he introduced, "and this is Shauna", he said, gesturing to the girl behind him that I hadn't really noticed.

I stared at them, silently asking them why they were here.

"We just noticed you were standing alone, so…" the girl, Shauna, butted in.

I nodded in understanding. Zeke opened his mouth to say something, before being interrupted by howls of 'We're here', and 'It's time to jump.'

Zeke and Shauna grinned at each other before running off to the door, and I watched them carefully when they jumped, imitating them almost perfectly. I landed on my feet, walking a few meters to shake off the momentum, managing to stumble just a little, something I was definitely proud of.

"Initiates", I heard a loud voice, and I turned my head to the voice. The person who spoke was standing on the ledge, and I raised my eyebrow, wondering if he was an idiot or just really brave to stand on the ledge of a building 7 stories up. Considering where I was, it could be either.

"Today, to enter the Dauntless compound, you have to jump off this ledge, and step into the compound."

I was wide eyed, and I almost started breathing heavily at the mere thought of jumping off from a ledge so high. I never doubted that heights were one of my fears, along with Marcus and closed spaces. It was something that comes from my splendid childhood punishments, from around the time the Belt started. He used to throw me off the balcony, making me grab the ledge and hang from there till my fingers bled, and I was slipping.

"Is there water at the bottom or something?" An Erudite asked.

"Who knows?" the person shrugged.

"Now who will jump first?"

"Step aside, sissies", I heard Zeke's voice holler, as everyone parted for him.

He stepped off the ledge, but before he could jump, he lost his balance and with a loud shout, fell face forwards into the hole, his shouts and screams echoing through the space, more of surprise than fear, as dauntless born and some Candor laughed at him.

I grimaced in sympathy. His moment of fame had turned into a moment of laughter for everyone except him; though I have a feeling he will laugh it off anyway. He seems the type.

* * *

I landed on the net, quietly, not making a sound. I was the last, my fear of heights getting the better of me, not counting the Candor who blatantly refused to jump. It took a lot out of me to remind myself that this was the only way to get into the compound, to touch the freedom I had yearned for as long as I remember, and of course, to start a new life, which was untouched by my tainted past.

I heard the loud announcement, announcing my name as Stiff, when I refuse to give one, then the cheers, the crowd not really caring if I was the last one or that I refused to give a name. I could admire their enthusiasm, something I know I would never be able to have. To accept someone as they were, so easily, so trustfully, was something I need to learn, along with the many things I hoped to be, kind for one.

"Initiates, there are 3 stages of initiation- the physical one, the mental one, and the emotional one. While we usually start with the physical one, this year we will start with emotional one, as an experiment. The emotional one will make you deal with your fears, making you learn how to face them in real life, how to keep your cool", the person, who told us to jump, shouted.

"I am Amar", the person continued. "I will be your instructor for the initiation and I will be responsible for your ranks. As we go to the other stages, I will explain more. Any questions?"

I raised my hand, along with an Erudite, and Amar pointed at me.

"Who will be seeing our fears?" I asked quietly, my voice just a bit icy, unintentionally, of course, but not unwelcome. Amar looked at me incredulously.

"The leaders and I", he answered and I almost sighed. Starting a new life without knowing about the abuse was not a practical thought, anyway.

"Why? Do you have something to hide, like your name?" I heard another person ask. I turned my head to look at him, my posture just like when I am with Marcus, my back straight, my head held high.

"Were you an Erudite or Candor before because I don't recall curiosity and bluntness either being Dauntless' traits?" I asked; my voice icy, and tone cold.

He stared at me, and I glared back unflinchingly, before he barked out a laugh. I was tempted to deem the person insane, but I restrained from saying anything else, maybe this was a Dauntless thing.

"You have got guts", he acknowledged. "We will just have to see if you are all talk, and no bark." He turned to the others, his eyes looking at the initiates, scanning them.

"I am Max", he said, and my eyes almost widened in surprise when I realized he was the head leader of Dauntless. "I am the head leader of Dauntless. I will be watching your performance in the fear landscape. You will be judged on the amount of time you spent on your fears; the lesser, the better. Having less fears will work for your advantage here. There are two ways to get out of a fear- one is to calm your heart rate, and the other is to go deeper into it. For example- one way to get out of the fear of water is to go deeper, swim deeper", he explained with a calm yet loud voice. "And I believe you had a question", he continued, pointing to the Erudite who had raised his hand.

"Amar said that he will be responsible for the ranks. How exactly will we be ranked and what is the purpose of it?" The Erudite asked, his voice curt, his dark eyes seeming to bore into your soul. I was intrigued by him, his personality was closed off, and I tilted my head, not only at the question, which I would like to have answered, but in slight thought about the possibilities which can make someone so guarded. I didn't like any of the answers; I let it go.

"Ranks will be posted after each stage, and at the end, there will be a final posting", Amar explained. "You will be ranked in a different way each stage. For the emotional stage, which we will be going through today, you will be judged on your time, your number of fears, and the amount of time you spent on each fear. As for your second question, the ranks will determine which jobs you will be able to choose."

He nodded, satisfied with the answer. I looked back at Max and Amar, noticing with slight distaste that there were four more people, who must be leaders, who seem to be looking me up and down, with thinly veiled curiosity. I glanced away pointedly, hearing slight chuckles from them, and I resisted the urge to huff childishly.

"Transfers, get out of those distasteful clothes. You have the cards we provided you with, and every one of you have 1000 points. Spend them wisely. You have 30 minutes to get ready."

"Transfers, we will give you a tour afterwards", Amar yelled. "Right now, follow me."

All of the transfers scrambled to follow Amar as we walked out of the open space near the net.

* * *

I nervously chew on my lip, as I tapped my foot impatiently. An hour and a half later, I found myself standing impatiently out of the room that everyone has come to dread. So far, 5 of us have gone inside, and currently, all of them were shivering or shuddering slightly.

There were 15 of us, 6 transfers- 2 Erudite and 3 Candor, apart from me- and 9 Dauntless born. As we were going in the order of when we jumped, I was going last.

While I was nowhere anticipating facing my fears, I was more concerned and dreading the fear that will undoubtedly be made a huge issue of.

Acrophobia, Claustrophobia, and Marcus, three fears, that I am confident and absolutely sure of. What are the rest? Max and Amar both mentioned that the average fears were 10-15, and even considering I have 12-13, what are the rest of them? Maybe one is Bea getting hurt. That seems a legit fear, especially since the only reason I have refrained from talking to her all these years, is because of the dread, the fear, I feel when I think about the horrible and absolutely terrifying consequences that can be a reality if Marcus finds out about my infatuation and yearning for Bea.

"Hey", Shauna said, and I turned my head slightly to look down at her. I raised my eyebrow at her. Shauna hasn't gone yet but I am pretty sure her turn is soon.

"You nervous?"

"Not really", I answered truthfully. Though I wasn't eager, I wasn't really nervous to face any of my fears. I knew this was going down majorly. "You?"

"Do I look nervous?"

"Just a little."

"It's just Zeke is one of the bravest people I know. He may seem silly behind all his jokes and stuff, but he really is brave, and to see him, so affected by a __simulation __is terrifying."

I follow her worried gaze to Zeke. His mouth was turned into a frown and he was staring at nothing with a particularly thoughtful expression. Somehow the disturbed, and slightly terrified expression, seemed foreign on his face, and I could agree without really knowing Zeke that he hid his feelings, his fears, and his emotions behind a mask of jokes. And to see him raw was something else entirely, especially for someone who has known him their entire life.

"Sometimes the things in our head scare us more than anything in this world can", I said, my mind going back to the raw fear that I felt for Bea when I considered for more than a second to talk to her. The images that I formed in my head were more terrifying than facing the Belt, the one thing that I could be truly and utterly sure that I am afraid of.

"I guess so", she shrugs, sighing.

Neither of us uttered a word after that, Shauna walking off quietly when her name was called, maybe half an hour since the words stopped exchanging between us.

* * *

"Stiff, it's your turn", Amar said and I pushed myself away from the wall I was leaning on, my mind having a replay of the memories of Mom and Bea.

After around an hour or so, after Shauna went in, everyone except me were done, the latest being Mia, a Candor girl, who had come out crying and shaking around an hour after she had gone in.

I walked in quietly after Amar into the room where the leaders were quietly talking among themselves.

"Sit down", Amar commanded, gesturing to the dentist's chair that was not unlike the chair I sat on during the aptitude test.

When I sat down and Amar connected everything, he turned to me with a syringe, holding it up, allowing me to see the clear liquid in it, before injecting the serum into my neck.

"The serum will go in effect in 60 seconds", he said. "Be brave, stiff. It's a lesson everyone needs to learn."

I nodded blearily, my eyes feeling heavy and I closed my eyes, feeling the drowsy effects of the serum.

* * *

__I felt a cold gust of wind rush past me and I opened my eyes to find myself at the top of a really tall skyscraper. I stumbled back from the edge and I could hear my heavy breathing over the noise of the wind rushing. __

_'___There are two ways to get out of a fear- one is calm your heart rate and the other is to go deeper into the fear', I hear Max's voice saying in my mind and I let out a shaky breath.__

__There is no way I am going to be able to calm my heart rate down so I focus on the next option-go deeper into it. One way of going deeper is climbing higher. I looked around for something to climb on, to achieve an even greater height but I couldn't find anything. I am on top of everything, literally. __

__I sighed, trying to think of how I can escape this fear, closing my eyes when I remembered a line I read when I was younger. __

'You are not afraid of heights, you are afraid of falling'

__My eyes snapped open and I looked over the edge to found that it was true. I am not afraid of the height, I am just afraid that I will die if I will fall over. And I know just how to get deeper into the fear. __

__I went to the edge and stared down before leaning forward and letting my body go towards the Earth like I did when I jumped from the net, not thinking too much, because if I did, I don't think I can jump.__

__I closed my eyes as the wind rushed rapidly past me, and the ground swiftly and terrifyingly approached me. I braced myself for the impact but it never came. Instead, the wind stopped, just stopped, suddenly and I opened my eyes to find myself in a room.__

__The room was small, and the walls seemed to be closing in on me. It took me only seconds to realise that they __were__closing in on me. I took a deep breath when I realised what my next fear was; Claustrophobia. __

__There was no going deeper into this fear. It's not like I can push the walls closer in now that they had stopped moving and the space I have is so less that I huddle myself into it. I look around for a way to be out as my breaths grew jagged. __

_'___Calm yourself, Tobias', I thought. 'Calm yourself.'__

__I thought about Bea, and my heart rate grew and I immediately shoved her thoughts out of my mind. Thinking about her only made me excited, nervous, and terrified and all the things that have my blood pumping and more.__

__And so, I thought of the next thing that makes me forget things and calms me down; my mom. I thought of how she and I used to talk for hours at end, when Marcus was away and she had her work done. I thought of how she bandaged my wounds when Marcus beat me to a bloody pulp. And I thought of the news I got when Marcus told me that she is dead.__

__Though it ached, my heart calmed down to a steady rhythm, and the walls around me cracked with a loud noise before falling apart. __

__I stood up, looking around the room for a clue of my next fear. I heard a gun cocking behind me and I turned around. A girl, perhaps a year or so younger than me, had a gun in her hand, aiming for my head. I stepped back, tilting my head slightly to the side in confusion of what the fear is supposed to be. I don't feel any panic and my heart rate isn't going wild. The girl moved the gun away from my head and aimed it at someone else, her eyes never leaving mine. __

__I followed the gun barrel and my blood ran cold when I saw the gun pointing at Bea.__

_"___Don't hurt her", I warned. __

_"___Too late", she said, just as she pulled the trigger. My head snapped over to Bea just as her body slumped forward and blood started pooling from her body. __

__I gaped in horror at the sight before me, before I turned to the girl in anger. I snatched the gun away from her and shot her without a thought. __

__As soon as I pulled the trigger, and the blood started pouring from the girl's forehead, my anger vanished and I realised what the fear was; I was afraid to turn into him, and by killing the girl, I __had __turned into him. No matter what they did, I shouldn't be the one to hurt someone. She was just a little girl, a child, just like I was. And I was her Marcus.__

__My heart rate shot up at the realization____and I stumbled back from the gun and the corpse. __

_"___This is not real. This is just a simulation", I chanted softly to myself, trying to calm myself down. "I am nothing like him. He is a monster. This is not real."__

__After what seems like an eternity, I calmed down and when I opened my eyes, I found myself in my home, in the living room, the grey walls surrounding me. __

__Here it comes.__

__The sound of the front door opening made me turn towards it and my heart picked up the rate when I saw the dangerous glint of a monster in Marcus' eyes. __

_"___This is for your own good", he said and I flinched from the painful memories of the words.__

__Heavy footsteps came down the stairs and I whirled around, finding myself face to face with another Marcus. __

_"___This is for your own good."__

__Another Marcus came holding a glass of alcohol from the kitchen stumbling a little. __

_"___This is for your own good."__

_"___I just want to help you."__

_"___I just want to make you better."__

__I whirled around, as another Marcus came into the room, and then another and another, till there were a lot of them.__

_"___This is for your own good."__

_"___You killed your mother."__

_"___This is your entire fault."__

_ "___You deserve this."__

_"___You are worthless, absolutely worthless."__

__And then as one, everyone said the same thing and my heart stopped before speeding up.__

_"___This is for your own good. You know the drill."__

__I dropped to my knees, kneeling in front of them, not out of respect, but out of fear of what he will do.__

__The Belt came down on my back, without a sound of warning, and I cried out in pain and surprise. The Belt rained down on my back a dozen times and I nearly blacked out, when I heard a scream.__

__My eyes blearily focused on the little figure that was struggling as Marcus dragged her into the room. When I finally focused enough to recognize her, my eyes widened. __

_"___No, Bea", I stood up with a great show of willpower and went straight for her before I slammed into an invisible barrier. I slammed my hand on it, slamming it on the colourless wall.__

_"___Bea", I yelled out, and the Belt rained down on her. I pounded on the wall, yelling for her or for Marcus to stop till I saw the light leave her eyes, as she lay dead in my house.__

_"___This is all because of you, boy", Marcus said as I stared disbelieving at her dead body, kneeling on the ground. "If you had just stayed away from her, she would have lived. It's a pity. She was a pretty and sweet girl."__

__My Bea is dead because of me. She's dead and she's never going to come back; never ever. She left just like Mom. I felt a wave of anger, not at her, or even Marcus, but at myself. How? How could I have let her die? It was my job to protect her. And I had failed to do that, and it was because of Marcus. He had killed her, murdered her, right in front of me, and I couldn't do anything.__

__I stood up, shaking in anger, and whirled around, before my fist flew straight at his face and he disappeared into a wave of nothing, like sand dust blowing off in the air. __

I opened my eyes. I hadn't realized I had closed it. I looked around before I finally comprehended what was happening. Of course; I was in a simulation. That is what has happened.

__Bea is not dead. She is alive; safe and well. __

"Tobias", I heard a call and my head snapped up from where it was between my hands, and I rubbed my face tiredly before looking at Max. "That's your name, isn't it? Tobias Eaton?"

I nodded in affirmative.

"I am sorry about Marcus. I always knew that guy was a little shady", another leader said.

"I don't want your pity", I snapped.

"I am not offering it", the leader said. "I am just stating a fact. I __am__ sorry that you had to face that. And I am sorry that we, as Dauntless, could not help you. After all, this is our job."

"Tobias", Amar said seriously before I cut him off.

"Don't call me that", I interrupted. "Tobias is Marcus' son. I am not."

"Alright then, how about Four?"

"That's a number", I pointed out, "with no apparent significance."

"Of course it has a significance", one of the leaders said. "You have four fears, __only __four. That's a record."

"What?"

"I said-"

"I heard what you said. I just can't believe it. Either way, I think Four will be fine."

"__Four", __Amar said, emphasizing on my name. "We need to talk to you about something important." I nodded.

"That girl in your fear landscape", Max said and I grew tense. "Who was she?"

"That's none of your business", I snapped.

"True, it isn't. Just tell me, is the girl getting abused?"

"No", I answered after a pause at the unexpected question. "She has a loving family. And Marcus has nothing to do with her; at least I don't think so."

"Good", Max said in obvious relief. "We will send a letter to Jack about Marcus' arrest and-"

"No", I interrupted coldly and curtly. "What you saw in my fear landscape doesn't go out. I don't want you to arrest him."

"I know he is your father and you-"

"I don't love him, if that is what you are going to say. I hate him, actually, loathe him. But if he gets arrested, there will be a trial, and everyone in the city will know about it, know about __me. __And I don't want that. Besides, he can't hurt me, here. It is my decision, Max."

Max exchanged an uneasy look with the others before one of the older ones slightly nodded.

"If that is what you want", Max agreed reluctantly.

"Good", I said curtly. "This is the end of the discussion. There will be no more mentions of Marcus."

Max looked ready to protest before Amar cut him off.

"Come on, let's go", Amar interrupted.

We went through the door and the door opened with a bang, as everyone looked up.

"Hey Tori", Amar called from across the room. "Ever heard of anyone with 4 fears?"

"No, the lowest is 8."

"Well, I got one who has only 4."

"This one?" Tori asked, nodding at me, and simultaneously, all the initiates turned to look at me, and it took everything in me not to cringe away from the judging eyes, the jealous stares and the surprised looks. Amar nodded.

"This is Four, the guy with the lowest fears in the history of Dauntless."


	4. Chapter III

_****Author's Note:****__****__****Hey guys! It has been a very long time. I apologise for my absence. I had a lot of pretty important exams coming up, and some crazy schedules. I am sorry for updating after a long time. I just did not want to give you guys some very bad content. Apart from that, I had a writer's block, which never seemed as bad in all the author's note excuses I read about updating lately, until I exprienced it myself. The next update again is not planned. I am not a very fast writer. I make constant edits on the scene, and I am pretty busy with more exams coming up. I feel like killing myself with all the exams. So I apologise in advance for the next update, which is probably late, unless inspiration strikes me like lightning did with Sullivan. ****_

_****Moving onto the chapter, it is a pretty important chapter as it somewhat explains a lot of things from Eric's point of view. I don't know if I wrote Eric's point of view well. It is definitely a little out of character, but I wanted it that way. Please feel free to point out any inconsistencies in this. He is a hard character to write. ****_

_****Again, Please review. It makes me really happy.****_

* * *

****Chapter 3****

****Eric's P.O.V.****

****One Week Later****

"Four is the winner." It was the last thing I heard before the world faded into a consistent black, my jaw aching and the rest of my body numb.

I awoke some time later, my jaw aching, my ears ringing and the rest of my body numb. I could hear voices over the ringing of my ears, but I cannot make out what they were saying, and the world faded into a swirling black once again.

I awoke again some unknown time later, this time my entire body sore, my jaw throbbing and I wished for the black to consume me again. I touched my jaw slightly, wincing at the sharp pain.

"He knocked out your tooth", I heard a voice say and I looked over to see Zeke in the doorway. It had seemed that Zeke and Shauna had made it their personal goal to make Four and I annoyed to death by their constant lingering around and chattering.

"I know", I said, my voice slightly lisped. "I saw it."

"He really did a number on you, huh?" Zeke said, handing me a mirror, which I kept aside immediately. I do __not __want to look at my face right now.

"No shit, Sherlock."

"I see that being beaten the shit out of hasn't made you drop the sarcasm. By the way, Four feels awful for beating you so badly."

"He told you that?" I asked, sitting up straighter in unveiled shock, ignoring my body's loud protest at the sudden movement.

Zeke snorted, "As if. He asked about you, __twice__, since this morning when he has beaten you up, and he even visited you once."

"That sounds more like him", I said, leaning back again. "But really, I shouldn't have said those things about his mother."

"No shit, Sherlock. Either way, if Shauna knows that I am keeping you up talking to you, then she will kill me. I need to go."

I nodded, closing my eyes after he has left the room, letting myself feel the ache all over my body. It was a different yet familiar ache, a foreign one. It is strikingly similar to the one I feel after a night of intense workout, but the deep satisfaction is missing from the deep ache.

And my train of thought started in an unending journey. I thought about Bea, my little sister, my cousin, who taught me to feel again, who made me human again. I thought about Cal, my pal, my brother, the one who talked to me about his Erudite interests, the one who is so stifled behind his façade of a perfect Abnegation child. I thought about Zeke and Shauna, the ones who are trying their hardest to make us feel welcome, the ones whose friendship really feels unconditional, even when it only has been a week. I thought about Amar, my instructor, who seems to understand everything without me saying a word. And lastly, I thought about Four, the most mysterious and intriguing person I have ever met, the one whose eyes hold a deep, raw pain, the one who seems strangely protective of everything about him, whose walls seem to be built and coiled tighter than mine are.

* * *

I opened my eyes to Four. His eyes were closed and his mouth slightly open, his position uncomfortable in the small chair he was sitting on, and it took me a brief second of grogginess to realize that he was sleeping. I flicked my eyes to the clock, reading 3:13 am. I blinked in surprise, my eyes turning back to Four's sleeping form, an eyebrow raising in surprise. Suddenly, he stirred a little, a troubled expression on his face, as his eyebrows furrowed together. His lips moved, mouthing incoherent words. I reached out, contemplating whether to wake him up.

"Bea", he whispered and my hand froze. The whisper was soft, too soft for me to be sure, and I dismissed the possibility of him knowing Bea, let alone having nightmares involving her. I reached out my hand to shake him awake, when his eyes snapped up, fear loud in his eyes, a wild look and then, he blinked and the look passed, his eyes settling on me.

"Hi", I said, awkwardly, as he stared intensely at me. He nodded in response, rubbing a hand over his face.

"I came to talk to you and you were asleep, and I think I fell asleep", he said, his voice calm and collected, not a hint of fear that I had seen in his eyes just a minute ago. I stared at him, as if suddenly, I will be able to read his mind and see if it really was Bea's name that he whispered, what the nightmares that haunt him are about, and the dozen questions that seem to surround him, just hanging, never asked, never answered.

"I just want to say I am… sorry, Eric", he said, looking away. "I just lost control when you said those awful things about my Mom. I can't bear to hear anything about her."

"No", I said, shaking my head, staring at how vulnerable and boyish he looked. "It was my fault. I shouldn't have. I have no idea what possessed me to say those things about you."

He stood up. "I should let you rest."

I nodded, the question on my lips, and for a moment, everything slowed down as he stood, and my mind contemplated whether to spit it out.

"Why do you have nightmares?" I looked up at him. His hand froze on the door knob, his back turned to me. He looked over his shoulder, before turning his body towards me.

"What are you talking about?" His arms crossed over his chest in a defensive position, the way it did when someone asked him questions, his stance protective.

"Just now", I said, not willing to back down. "You were having a nightmare, weren't you?"

"I was?" He asked. "I don't remember having one."

He turned around, and left the room, closing the door with a quiet noise, his light footsteps fading long before the lie faded from the air. I stared at the door, the lie hanging, and I shivered, staring up at the ceiling. The lie still hung when I closed my eyes, and everything faded for the millionth time.

* * *

"Eric? Eric?" I looked at Zeke, frowning, tearing my eyes away from Four. It has been another week since the fight, and the apology, and the night. Four had seemed strangely colder and more closed off than ever, and even Amar has been slightly put off with his cold behavior. The first stage has ended with Four first, me second, Zeke third, and Shauna sixth.

"Isn't Four looking too closed off to you, since your fight with him?" Zeke asked and I nodded slightly, turning my head to look at him again, only to find him nowhere in sight. I looked around the cafeteria, finding him nowhere.

I stuffed the rest of the food in my mouth, before I stood up, chewing as I moved out, walking briskly to the training room. As I drew closer, I could hear the familiar voices of Amar and Four, and the recognizable thuds of the punching bag, as the hands and legs struck on the punching bags in punches and kicks. I stopped when I was just outside the door, peeking quietly, as I stood, hidden by the wall, next to the doorway, eavesdropping.

"Just leave me alone, Amar", I heard the familiar voice of Four, as there was another familiar thud of the punching bag.

"Four, stop, just look at your damn hands", Amar said, his tone the most exasperated I have heard from him. "They are bleeding all over the floor."

I peeked in quietly, almost gasping at how much blood was dripping from his knuckles, and how much pain he must be in, as I blinked in confusion, when he slammed his knuckles in a perfect right hook into the punching bag, not a hint of pain or grimace marring his handsome and perfect features. I ducked behind the wall again, the confusion and unanswered questions just building.

"This is a form of self harm, Four", Amar said finally, and I could hear the abrupt turning of his shoes, as he whirled around.

"I don't do self harm, Amar", he said, his tone low as I shivered in slight fear from the cold and icy tone, and the underlying threat.

"Look, I know about him."

"It's not about him, Amar. Will you just stop bringing him up all the time?" Four said, his tone slightly frustrated. I frowned. Him? Who is 'him'?

"Then what is it about? Is it about the girl?"

The girl? His sister? His girlfriend? A friend?

"Just leave me alone, Amar."

"I can't, okay? I can't. You don't want to sleep, you don't want to eat, you are my initiate, Four. I cannot ignore this. If you need help-"

"I don't need any help, I am fine", Four said, and he looked almost tired, exhausted. I swallowed. Why is his tone so familiar and his words so similar to mine when my mom slipped into a coma and my dad died?

I peeked in, again, to see Four, rubbing his palms on his face, and when he lowered them, I could see the slight smudges of blood on his face, and when he looked up at Amar, his face, smeared with traces of his own blood, looked so defeated, so tired, that I ducked behind the wall again as his defeated face looked at me, his eyes holding a pain too deep to heal.

"Who is there?" Amar's loud voice boomed across the room and the hallway, and it took me a moment to realize with a wince that I had gasped at the sheer look of Four's face. I could hear the footsteps rapidly approaching me and I walked into the doorway, standing maybe half a foot into the room.

"What are you doing here?" Four asked coldly, all the tiredness and exhaustion his face showed just a moment ago, gone without a trace, and I stared hard at him for a second, as if the look would just emerge, but nothing happened.

"I just came for some practice, and you both were standing there, and I thought to leave and then, I saw Four's hands", I lied, swallowing, as my throat suddenly dried up, and I licked my eyes, wetting my dryer-than-a-desert lips.

Amar nodded as Four narrowed his eyes. "How much did you hear?" He asked again, his voice icier.

"I didn't hear anything", I said, and as my words echoed in the training room and my ears, I realized how cold my voice sounded and how cold it usually sounds when I talk to people, and it made me stare a little at Four. Does he not realize that he is cold either, or is he much more self aware and is intentionally colder?

Amar nodded, moving silently out of the room. Four followed, seeking to move out of the room, before my voice stopped him.

"Four?"

He stopped, much like he did in the infirmary room, only half turning.

"Do you get nightmares?" I asked quietly, as Four whirled around, his head tilting slightly in a show of confusion.

"What are you talking about? Nightmares? About what? Look, is this about the infirmary? I told you, I don't remember. What would I get nightmares about?"

I stared at him a little longer. His face didn't show a hint of nervousness, but his words did. He never talks this much, never talks this carelessly. He is too nervous about hiding this damned secret he has. What is so bad about his secret, anyway?

"I don't know, you tell me, do you get them?"

"No, I don't. "

The lie hung in the room, much like it did in the infirmary room, but this time the lie hung around in my mind for far longer, for coming days, for coming weeks. The questions that surrounded Four didn't get lesser and every time I looked at him, I wanted to ask about 'him', and whether he had uttered Bea's name in his sleep, if his nightmares were about Bea or 'him', or about something else entirely. What is this secret that was between Four and Amar and why would Four tell something to Amar willingly if he didn't even want to talk about it? Why would Four need the 'help' that Amar offered?

The questions went on and on, and just like the infirmary room, the lie hung in the room long after Four's light footsteps' echoes have gone and it still hung when I exited the room a couple of hours later, my knuckles bloodied as I distracted myself from the absolute confusion and mayhem in my mind, that frustrated the Erudite in me.


	5. Chapter IV

**_AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hey Guys. It has not been as long as I had expected it to be. I thought I will probably update in Mid Feb, maybe even in March, but hey, I am done. I hope you guys like this chapter. _**

**_I had wanted it to be a little longer, but I figured it was a good place to end, and it will make this chapter have a particular theme. I hope you like this and I hope you got this right. I had always imagined that it was quite hard for Tobias to adjust to his new life in Dauntless and adjusting to the feeling that there are people who might care for him and he is wary to let them in. Also, I wanted to say that there will be a lot of page breaks and jumping because in the essence, there is not much change. Of course, there will be a lot of changes, not just because of Bea, but also because of Eric and other reasons, and I will add that in, but I will skip training scenes, and things like that. You can just assume things added like the tattoo and the fights, which are quite similar to the canon, but Four never goes on the game of dare with Zeke and Shauna, and doesn't get the tattoo of the flames on his ribs, but he has the factions' tattoo. I don't want to add chapters that are way too close to the canon to be original, and I figured they will be boring. _**

**_You can review or PM to tell me what you think about it. I would consider what you say, of course, and if I find it valid, I guess I can change a a lot of things but I am not really in the favor. I hope you like the chapter. Tell me your thoughts. It makes me happy. _**

* * *

****Chapter 4****

****Four's P.O.V. ****

"It is not real, calm down", Amar said, as I shot forward, swallowing hard. A slight sting on my lip made me touch it and pulling away, a bead of red blood made me pause, before running my tongue over my lower lip, tasting the familiar metallic taste.

I stood up, slightly shaky before moving out, slamming the door shut, the sound echoing in the empty corridors. The wind still whistled in my air, as the slightly dizzying effect of the simulation made me stumble a little. I chewed on my lip, before turning to the passage leading to the dorm.

I collapsed on my bed, staring up at the gray ceiling. Grey. The color of Abnegation. My former faction. It had been three weeks since the Choosing Ceremony and a week since the strange confrontation in the training room. Eric's curious eyes seemed to follow me everywhere, and every time I met his eyes, the questions seemed to have a silent voice of their own. I closed my eyes.

__Feet pounded hard on the ground. My back was burning and so was my chest, as I panted hard, breathing through my mouth. I stopped, doubling over, my hands over my knees, as I panted hard, like a dog. __

__The puddle of water on the ground was reflective and as I breathed heavily, a 15 year old stared back at me, his face red, his chest falling up and down in quick breaths. I stared, my gaze unwavering, as I slowly lifted my arm, the 15 year old doing the same, my arm touching the scar on my forehead, right next to my hairline. The boy in the ground had it too. It was not like I had never seen my reflection before, but it had been almost 3 months, and a lot can change in 3 months. 3 months ago, my forehead didn't have a scar, my backs had less silver lines crisscrossing it and I wasn't 15. __

_"___Are you alright, Tobias?" A young, familiar, unforgettable voice said, and I whirled around, as a 12 year old stared at me. She wasn't 13 yet. She would be in a couple of weeks, somewhere in April. __

__I nodded in response to her question. "What are you doing here?"__

_"___I could ask you the same", she answered evasively. I flicked an eyebrow silently in question, gazing curiously at her. She rolled her blue gray eyes, as she walked closer to me. "I just- just needed some time from the perfect selflessness of Abnegation, told my brother I needed some air. Do you, um, do you maybe, want to- want to walk together, back- back to Abnegation, I mean, if you are going that way?"__

__I nodded, falling into an easy pace next to her, and we walked in silence for a couple of minutes. __

_"___Do you happen to have some food, pretty girl?" A gruff, masculine voice as we turned around to face the factionless man. The man were in ragged clothes, gray from Abnegation charity, grime and filth covering his hands and face and the clothes were torn and filthy. His hair were greasy and his eyes never left the small and petite form of the girl beside me. __

_"___Um, yeah", Bea said, reaching into her bag. I glanced at her, my eyes dropping to her slightly fumbling hands. I stepped a little toward her, as she stepped towards the man, offering a bag of cut up apples for him to take. The man reached up, grabbing her wrist. __

_"___Let me go", she said, firmly tugging her wrist back. __

_"___My, my, you have such pretty eyes", the man said, and my eyes narrowed. __

_"___Let her go", I said quietly, as both Bea and the man glanced towards me. Marcus shouted when he was angry, loudly, smashing things, and me, yelling, but my voice was never above a whisper, not even when I was furious. It sounded dangerous, even to my own ears. It was gruff, and deep, and held a warning that challenged you dangerously to oppose it. __

__The man stepped back, taking the fruit and my blue eyes didn't leave his form till he disappeared into a beat warehouse. I turned to her. __

_"___Are you alright?" I asked, my eyebrows furrowed slightly as I stepped closer, lifting her wrist with gentle hands as I inspected it. It looked slightly red, but there probably won't be much bruises, if any. __

_"___I am fine", she said, simply, tugging her wrist back from my hands as she turned away from me, walking towards the general direction of Abnegation. I raised an eyebrow, but followed her anyway. __

_"___I could have handled that, you know?" She finally said after a couple of minutes, when we were nearing Abnegation. __

_"___Undoubtedly", I said, and out of the corner of my eye, I could see her turn to me. I looked at her, and the questions seemed to have a silent voice of their own. I turned away. I did not know or need to know the answers to the questions.__

I opened my eyes, my eyes feeling heavy from the sleep. It didn't happen often. It was rare, and it stopped me from taking the sweet dreams or dreamless sleeps for granted. Abnegation was my childhood, my very crappy childhood, but still my childhood, and as much as I hated to think about my past, there just cannot be memories that were not fond, that make me miss my home- the quiet, peaceful streets, the beautiful selflessness, the gentle tones, but most of all, my first friend. My first for a lot of things. Bea.

"Four." I sat up, blinking the sleep out of my eyes, as the feeling of being rested washed over me.

"What?" I asked Zeke, Shauna and Eric, as they stared down at me from around the bed.

"It's time for dinner", Shauna said. "We figured you might be hungry. You missed lunch."

"Thank you", I mumbled as I put on my shoes and shrugged my jacket on.

"Who's Bea?" Eric asked quietly, and I froze, as my hands released the laces of my shoes.

"What?" I asked, tying my laces, my heart pounding loudly. They couldn't know, they couldn't.

"You mumbled her name in your sleep", he insisted, as I finally stood up.

"I don't remember", I stated coldly, as I stalked out of the room, as they hurried after me.

"Were you referring to Beatrice Prior?" Eric asked, as he placed a hand on my chest, as he stared me down. "Were you?"

"I don't know who you are talking about", I replied finally, staring into his brown eyes deeply, narrowing them in challenge. Bea was my past, and there is no way that I am letting my past affect my present. But how did Eric know her? Bea is just a nickname and Beatrice Prior, daughter of a council member, was not the first connection everyone makes.

"Is there anything that you say that isn't a lie?" He sneered.

"Eric, enough, man", Zeke said, as he gently tugged him away from me, as he pulled him to walk in front of Shauna and I.

"What is he talking about, Four? Who is Bea?" Shauna furrowed her eyebrows as she gazed up at me. I walked behind the two, as Zeke and Eric talked in hushed whispers.

"I don't know", I stated simply. "I don't know what he is talking about."

Silence ensued. The quietness, for a moment, took me back to the quiet streets of Abnegation, with its gentle and soft murmurings, its considerate attitude. If Marcus never turned the Belt on me, will I have left Abnegation? Would I have to pretend to fit in, hiding the endless bruises and marks that littered my teenage body? It was surreal, my wishes, my imaginations, and although there was little admiration or love between Marcus and I, the train of thought made me pause, made me dream of a life that I could never possibly have, with a loving father and a mother, maybe even a sister or brother.

"Four, we may not be Erudite, but we are not stupid", Shauna said, moments from entering the dining hall and I looked down at her petite form, eyebrows furrowed.

"I-I never said you were", I replied, biting the inside of my cheek.

"Whatever, Four", she scoffed, and I flinched slightly at the bitter tone. I sighed, following her into the dining room.

* * *

__I groaned. My back was burning. __

__A slight sound of the wind and the Belt came down onto my back with a crack, as I gasped in pain. __

_"___This is for your own good, son."__

I shot up, panting slightly. I opened my eyes, it was dark. The dorm was pitch black, not a ray of light illuminating it. I rubbed my hands on my face.

"My name is Four", I whispered into the darkness. "I am 16 years old. I am a Dauntless initiate. I am free."

I laid back on the bed, as I stared into the darkness. I have lied, back in Abnegation, to all the teachers, to Bea, to everyone really, about Marcus, about the bruises, hiding them. I have lied, here in Dauntless, to all my fellow transfers, to the Dauntless born, to Amar, to everyone, about Marcus, about being fine, about Bea. But I have always known the truth, always known what I am. I have never lied to myself. I couldn't.

__I am not free.__

I am not free. I will never be. Not from the memories, not from the dreams, not from the fear. He would always be there, lurking at the back of my mind, around the corners, and I would always live, looking over my shoulder, staring at a belt, dreading being close to anyone, always looking at them wistfully, 'What if they end up like Mom?'

Something wet drips down my throat, and I reached up, my face wet, and I stared at the darkness where my hand is supposed to be. Tears? How long has it been since I have cried? Was it Mom's death? Or have I ever cried after that?

I turned to my stomach, the way I did when my back was all cut up and bruised after a long night of the Belt, my pillow slightly wet from the water dripping slowly from my eyes. I just wanted these nightmares to end, just wanted to be free. I just wanted someone to make them stop.

But that is too much to ask for, it always is.


	6. Chapter V

_****Author's Note:**** Hey guys! It has been some busy days, huh? I hope you are all well and healthy. Take care of yourself. It is very important. That said, here's the next chapter. I wrote this chapter at least 5 times, and well, this was the end outcome. I hope you like it. _

_Reviews are appreciated, and so are follows and favorites._

**_Disclaimer:_**_ I don't own Divergent Trilogy._

* * *

****Chapter 5****

****Eric's P.O.V.****

He exhaled slowly. I stared at him patiently, with an expectant, steady gaze.

"I-I accept your offer", he muttered finally. A strange glint gleamed in his deep, ice blue eyes. It almost seemed like… determination and defiance.

Max slapped him on his back. I let a slow grin spread on my face. We are going to be leaders now, both of us.

"Congratulations, man", I muttered back simply, echoing the words he had said to me when I had agreed. He nodded back, offering me a slight boyish grin, that made me stare because it made him look… shy. 'Shy' was not a word I had ever thought to associate with him. He was reserved and calm, and if anything, he was confident. And it showed, with the way his head almost always was up, the way his stride was poised and calm, like a royal, and the way he could meet your gaze undauntedly and make you question facts that you __know__, even when __he __isn't sure. It was an ability that I have come to admire. But this boyish grin made him look his age, and it was timid and shy. He suddenly didn't seem like Four, the Abnegation transfer who refused to give a name, or Four, the transfer who was first in his class, or even Four, the one with the lowest recorded fears, the prodigy.

When he wasn't anyone of this, who __was __he?

Who was Four, behind the charismatic reputation he has created? Who really was he?

* * *

****1 YEAR LATER…****

He threw his head back and laughed, as the sounds of squealing and giggling cut through the normally quiet and calm air of Four's apartment. Zeke attacked Shauna, his girlfriend now, almost mercilessly, as she shrieked and giggled, Zeke looking down and smirking.

I gave Four a sideways glance. His face was more relaxed now, not like it was just a few minutes ago, tensed and maybe, a little worried. Four never liked meetings with faction leaders. It was the only part of the leadership business that Four had ever complained about, and the only part of it that the rest of the leaders give him as much as freedom as they could. Four never liked them, but he __hated __them when they were with Abnegation, and there was nothing Max wouldn't do if it meant getting him out of a meeting with Abnegation.

It was strange- the insane amount of time Max and the other leaders spent to get him out of those meetings. What was even stranger was the absolute hatred Four had for those meetings, or more appropriately, the leader, Marcus Eaton. I wasn't an idiot. There was something that the rest of the leaders knew that I didn't. I had tried to ask each of them once, just once. Max had stared at me for a second, before telling me to go file the paperwork. Harrison and Blake had hesitated for a moment, before telling me that it really wasn't their secret to tell, and after a dozen tries, I finally asked Four. He had frozen, before glancing at me, gulping. He had bitten the inside of his cheek, the way he did when he was __seriously __contemplating something before uttering finally, in a tone of finality. 'Marcus and I go way back, Eric.'

The sharp door bell rang out, piercing the light atmosphere.

"I'll get it", I announced, though really only Four was listening, and he nodded in acknowledgement, eyes still trained on the mingling form of Zeke and Shauna.

I opened the door, my eyebrows shooting up at the sight of the familiar gray color of the dull clothes of Abnegation and the unfamiliar sight of Marcus Eaton, the leader of Abnegation. "Marcus", I greeted, with a formal and curt tone. Even ignoring the open hate towards Marcus in the leaders' office, there was something about the man that made me stand on edge, and Dauntless weren't really known for their hospitality.

"Eric", he acknowledged. "I was under the impression that this apartment belonged to… Four." There was a certain distaste in Marcus's tone when he said Four's nickname, and I narrowed my eyes.

"It is", I agreed. "He's inside."

"You open apartment doors of your fellow leaders?" Marcus asked, with a familiar tinge of disappointment that Uncle Andrew's tone held, especially with Bea. She didn't really fit in at times.

"Four and I are best friends", I gritted out, crossing my arms. Abnegation people are supposed to be calming, like Aunt Natalie, not aggravating like Marcus. "Everyone in Dauntless knows this. I am busy."

"I want to talk to Four", he demanded, in an uncharacteristically rough voice. I raised an eyebrow.

"What for?"

He clenched his jaw, his stare just short of a glare. "It's personal."

"Hey, Eric, come on", Zeke called. "What's taking you so long?"

I turned around, Zeke just at the end of the hallway, with Shauna on his back, her arms around his neck.

"Marcus", he greeted, and I turned my head just enough to see the look of absolute disapproval and disgust crossing on his face, before he masked it in a practised manner. How this man is the leader of the council is a wonder. Aren't they supposed to be non- judgemental __and __diplomatic?

"Where's Four?" I asked.

"Right here", he called, walking into the room, freezing a little when his blue eyes locked with those of the leader of the Abnegation. A quick flash of a fleeting emotion crossed his features, and it looked uncomfortably close to… fear. I dismissed the thought. It cannot be fear. Right?

"Marcus", he gritted out, not even bothering to hide the absolute hatred in his voice. "What do you need?"

"I want to talk to you", Marcus declared, before glancing at the three of us and adding, "Alone."

"I don't want to talk to you", he dismissed the leader, and Zeke and Shauna stared at him, wide eyed. Marcus was one of the most widely recognized leaders of the City, as any Abnegation leader is, and every leader of every faction maintained at least a formal and diplomatic relationship with the aging leader.

"Four", he barked. "It is important."

"Is it regarding the factions?"

"No", he admitted.

"Then it is not important", Four finished simply.

"Four-"

"I think I made pretty clear a year ago that I want nothing to do with you. When we first met, at the meeting, I told you that I don't want to talk to you about anything except City business. Don't make me throw you out", Four hissed out, a deathly glare fixed on Marcus.

"I just want to-"

"Keep your apologies and your excuses to yourself, Marcus. We both know you don't mean them", Four cut in, turning away. "Nothing you say is going to make anything different."

"Maybe you will hear me out one day, Four."

"Maybe", he allowed. "Not today."

"Not today", Marcus agreed, before turning away and walking out of the door, and I silently watched Four till he slammed the door to his bedroom, not even bothering to acknowledge us. It didn't really make me angry, but it at least upset Shauna, and confused Zeke.

"What the hell was that?" Zeke exclaimed, as the couple turned to me as one, and I shrugged.

"All I know is that Marcus knew Four before he came to Dauntless, and all the leaders except me know something about the two that I don't", I explained. "Four hates Marcus, and I think so do the other leaders."

"Why?" Shauna exclaimed, slipping from Zeke's back.

"Because they know he is not really the person he shows he is", Four replied, coming up from his bedroom, his posture and face calmer, though there was still the visible tension present in his stiff posture, his face slightly wet with what I assume was water.

"Are you going to talk in riddles or tell us some real answers?" I asked, my patience starting to wear thin with his cryptic responses and dodging of questions.

"Yeah, actually. I figured that you would like to get some answers", he replied seriously.

"Are you serious?" Zeke asked, as I gaped at him. Four was the epitome __and __definition of a 'private person', and him offering information of his past was not something I expected. Today was full of surprises.

"Yeah, I meant to tell you, not now, but I guess you have some questions __now.__"

"Four, we have questions since the __minute __we met you", Shauna pointed out.

He shrugged, sighing. "Yeah, well. I just, I guess, didn't want you to look at me different. You are the only friends and the first ones I had in my life. I- I didn't want to, you know, lose you."

We all glanced at each other, contemplating the new information that has been presented to us. None of us have ever really thought Four to even be __mildly __insecure in any aspect of his life. He was a known and acknowledged prodigy, who was respected by __every __person in Dauntless, and I could not even remember the insane amount of times girls (and sometimes, guys) had placed obvious suggestive remarks and frank proposals to him. He was, as girls said, the "dream guy." There was nothing that had ever suggested that there was any part of Four that was vulnerable to what people thought.

"Four", Shauna finally said gently. "We won't look at you different, we promise."

"Have a seat", he gestured to the couch in his living room, as he sat on one of the chairs. We followed his example, glancing at each other with slight nerves and uncertainty. "Go ahead, ask what you want."

I bit my lip. "How do you know Marcus?"

He gave me a rueful smile. "Starting with the hard questions, huh? Marcus Eaton… is my father."

Silence. I gaped at Four with a look of disbelief.

"Are you freaking kidding me?" Zeke asked, with a similar look of disbelief. Shauna simply shook her head, leaning back.

He raised an eyebrow, giving him an annoyed look.

"Jesus, just checking, no need to get touchy", he murmured, shrinking back.

"Wait, wait, you are Marcus Eaton's son?" I repeated.

"Yes, Eric, that is what I meant when I said that he is my father", he patiently repeated, tilting his head back to look at the ceiling. I guess he did know how hard it was to accept it. Marcus and Four had the same deep blue eyes, same habits to a certain degree, and the same confident aura they both exempted, now that I think about it.

"Okay, okay", Shauna accepted. "I guess it made sense why you could get away with talking to him like that, but why do you hate him so much?"

He didn't turn his head back to look at us at the question. He simply studied the ceiling, and I glanced at it, following his gaze, to see if there was anything interesting on it. There wasn't.

After a long, patient on our part, silence, Four let out a long sigh.

"Marcus wasn't- he isn't- the man he makes himself out to be in the public. He isn't this, this, perfect selfless person", he admitted. "Um, for one, he liked to drink, especially after-" He abruptly cut off.

"After?" Shauna prompted gently.

"My Mom died when I was 12", he confessed, and I exhaled, leaning back. Four loved his Mom. He almost disfigured me when I said those horrible things back in initiation. It had to be the __hardest __thing in the world for him. "If there was one person in his life that Marcus loved, it was my mom. And well, after her death, Marcus turned to alcohol."

He glanced back up at the ceiling, before leaning forward and resting his head in his arms. I didn't know what to think about the whole arrangement. Four had always been the unbreakable one out of the four of us. When Shauna's dad almost committed suicide, when Zeke had his rough patch during his Dad's death anniversary, or even when I just had too much stress from the leadership duties, Four had been the constant anchor. To see him almost broken and so, __so __vulnerable because of Marcus, it made a whole fresh anger and protectiveness come out.

"Let's just say, when Marcus didn't like what I did", he continued after a long pause, his voice slightly muffled against his hands, "he turned abusive."

Silence, for the infinite time today. I gulped down the anger that poured down from me, demanding angrily, "What?"

He didn't say anything, his head still in his hands. "That's all you really need to know about him. I don't want to go into details", he declared.

"We aren't going to be asking them from you, Four", Shauna said softly, moving towards him, giving him a sad look, sitting next to him, and placing a gentle hand on his back. He visibly tensed before relaxing. I stood up, taking deep breaths, controlling myself from sprinting on the first train to Abnegation, and punching a hole in Marcus' face, pacing across the room.

"How long?" I asked quietly. "Just one question about this- how long?"

"Since I was 7", he replied, as Shauna rubbed his back. "That was the first time. I was 9 when he hit me with the Belt."

"Belt? He hit you with a fucking belt?" Zeke shouted, standing up, running a hand through his hair.

Abuse. Four was abused, by Marcus Eaton, the leader of Abnegation, the selfless faction, the one who turned away from their reflections, who didn't talk back, whose life's sole purpose was to live for others.

"That's why the leaders hate him? They know?"

He nodded, finally looking up, watching us in a silent observation. "Of course they know. They saw him in my fear landscape. He was my fourth fear, my deepest, darkest fear."

"Why isn't he locked up?" Shauna asked, and I looked at Four with an eager expression.

"I don't want to testify", he admitted. "Everyone will know who I am. I transferred to get rid of him. It was a coward's choice, but if I testify, everyone in the city will know. I-I can't stand the looks and the __pity."__

"It wasn't a coward's choice, Four. It was brave", Shauna stated firmly. He scoffed. "No, it was. Not many would have the guts to stand up to their father and leave, and taking the leadership job, that was brave too. You knew you would see him, yet you still took the job. You stood up to him."

He let out a breath before nodding unconvincingly. "Yeah, whatever. Anything else you want to ask?"

"Do you know Bea?" I asked, crossing my arms and frowning.

He gave me a small smirk, nodding. "Yeah, I know her."

"I __knew __it", I shouted, laughing slightly.

"Wait, are we talking about the same Bea? Eric's oh-so-precious baby cousin?" Zeke asked, giving me a mocking smile, changing the topic. I playfully glared at him, thankful for the sudden change in the attitude of the atmosphere. Four let out a small laugh, nodding.

"Yeah, the very same", he agreed. "Beatrice Prior."

"How?"

"She was my neighbor. I met her when I was 12, on my mother's funeral. She, um, she __is __special to me. She was kinda like a friend."

Shauna squealed and all of us looked at her with identical, confused cases. "You had a __crush __on her."

My jaw dropped at the prospect. Four had a crush? On Bea?

"What?" I gaped at him, who had turned red, but was shaking his head in denial.

"No, I didn't have a crush on her", he protested, his ears turning red as a tomato, and Zeke laughed loudly.

"Oh, this is gold", he choked out, between fits of laughter.

"I don't like her like that", he insisted, even though a small smile was fixed on his face. I shook my head.

"If it was anyone else but you, I would punched you till you were permanently disfigured", I said, laughing. "But Bea? Seriously? She's younger than you."

"First, I don't like her, and secondly, what's wrong with her being younger?"

"So you do admit you like her?" Shauna asked grinning.

"No, I don't", Four groaned out. "She was just a friend, and I talked to her maybe once every three months or maybe even less for like a minute."

"Why?" Shauna whined, giving him a frustrated look. If there was anyone who wanted Four to have a girlfriend more than Zeke, it was Shauna. She hit him on the head whenever he rejected a girl, which was every time we went out, so he got a lot of smacks in the head.

He gave a grim smile, shrugging. "Yeah, well, I had my reasons."

I raised an eyebrow, giving him a pointed look.

He sighed. "Marcus didn't really like me having friends, and I didn't want her to get hurt. That was the last thing I wanted. So I stayed away."

I sighed, nodding. I couldn't really argue about it. The mood turned solemn again.

"Wait", Zeke suddenly shouted, after a few moments of the solemn mood. "We forgot a very important question."

Four looked at him, flicking an eyebrow.

He looked at Four seriously, before asking, "What's your real name?"

He laughed, followed by Shauna and I, as we looked at Zeke's still serious expression.

"It's a serious question", he insisted.

"Of course, Zeke", Shauna humored him mockingly. "It's the most serious question in the world."

Four shook his head, before announcing, "It's Tobias. Tobias Eaton."


	7. Chapter VI

_****Author's Note: Hey guys! I hope you are all healthy and well. Stay safe and stay healthy. I was quite happy with the response of the last chapter. Thank you to everyone who read the story, reviewed it, favorited it or follwed it. This all makes me really happy. ****_

_****Moving on to this chapter, I hope you like this. This is going to be the last chapter with a major time jump. I hope you like this. I liked writing this chapter. There is an A/N at the end, because I do not want to spoil anything for you guys, before you read the chapter. ****_

_****Please review, favorite and follow.****_

_****Disclaimer:****_**** _I do not own The Divergent Trilogy. All rights belong to Veronica Roth._****

* * *

****Chapter 6****

****Four's P.O.V.****

****1 Year Later…****

I groaned lightly, rolling out of bed. I showered, put on some black clothes and went on to the mess, sitting with a wild haired Zeke, a calm Shauna and an utterly frustrated Eric. I stifled a chuckle, settling for a small smile, raising an eyebrow at the three.

"- and oh God, what if he transfers?" I catch the end of Zeke's frantic rant, and with just the few words, I couldn't control the chuckle that escaped. Eric glanced up at me, giving me a desperate look, pleading silently to end his torture.

"Zeke, he will not transfer", I stated firmly, partly because that usually made people calm and accepted what I said, and partly because I truly believed it.

"How do you know __that?__" Zeke retorted.

"Because it's Uriah. If you can imagine him in Abnegation doing community service, or in Erudite behind test tubes, or in Amity farming, __or __in Candor being a lawyer or something, then you have some very good imagination", I pointed out.

Zeke exhaled before nodding, letting a small familiar smirk to spread on his unusually worried face, "Yeah, you are right. That idiot does not belong anywhere else."

"God, Four, you are a life saver", Eric exhaled. "I was one __second __away from punching him in the damn face."

"Oh please, like you and Shauna are not worried", Zeke huffed.

"We are not", they chorused together, looking offended.

"Oh please, as if Lynn can possibly even survive anywhere else", Shauna huffed, crossing her arms, chewing the eggs in her mouth.

"Why is Eric worried?" I asked, obliviously, glancing at each of them. They glanced at each other before they offered me mischievous grins. I frowned, looking them warily, lifting the cup of milk to my lips.

"You know Bea isn't just __your __crush, she is Eric's cousin too", Zeke pointed out, smirking, all worry gone, being assured by __my __words, and distracted by __my __embarrassment. I choked on the milk I had just sipped, swallowing it with the utmost difficulty, and coughing reflexively.

"What?" I finally got out. "Where did she even come from? How do you guys always end up on __her __topic?"

They laughed loudly at my discomfort, and my ears felt hot, whenever they brought up my 'crush' on the younger girl. I couldn't have a crush on her, could I? I have never allowed myself to think of the possibility since the day more than a year ago, when Shauna had first brought it up, never allowed myself to dwell on it, but now that she could possibly be so close, I couldn't push the possibility away. She was special to me, I could not even argue about it. She was different and special, and basked me in her presence, made me focus on her solely when there could be a thousand important things to listen to, to see. It couldn't be a crush, could it? Crush. The word seemed so simple, too simple to describe what I feel for her, what __she __makes me feel. No, the word was inappropriate and too small.

"Whatever", I mumbled. "I am off."

"Hey, we are sorry", Zeke apologized sincerely, and the three came to a stop, looking at my now standing figure.

"It's okay, Zeke. I just need to go to the net. I __am __an instructor, after all", I reminded him.

"I am coming", they chorused, standing up (in sync). I blinked.

"That would never __not __be creepy", I commented lightly, throwing my plate in the trash, the others following as we walked quietly to the net.

The three chattered quietly on our way, and aside from the occasional nods or yeahs, I didn't really partake in the conversation.

We reached there in time to hear the train whistling on the roof above us, and then, a few seconds later, the familiar, though distinct, voice of Max floating through the air as he talked to the new initiates. I felt a sudden surge of excitement and nervousness hit me when I thought how any minute now, one of the bodies falling through the hole in the sky may be Bea's, and she may just literally fall into my life.

A silent thud echoed in the room, and I looked at the net, raising my eyebrows at the silent fall. Being an instructor last year as well, I had heard my fair share of reactions falling into the net, but __none __of them had been no reaction. A small chuckle escaped the figure in the net, and I shook my head in disbelief. I stuck my hand, along with several others, and the figure, an __Abnegation __transfer grasped my hand. The figure- a girl- was light and petite and I pulled her easily off the net. She let go of my hand, and I ignored the abrupt rush of coldness on my hand, and the confusion that followed with it. For a split second, she gave me a wide, confused look, peeking from underneath her long eyelashes. And in that split second, my confusion disappeared, because I __knew __who she was.

I could recognize those blue-gray eyes when I am damn amnesic, 2 years apart have definitely not faded them from my memory. Bea. Beatrice Prior. It was almost laughable how I had been thinking about her dropping into my life, and she __had, __at just in that precise moment, but that did not matter, not for now anyways.

She was a transfer. That means __I __would train her. __I __would coach her. And I cannot let my stupid feelings be a bias towards her. She was too strong to be treated as weak.

"A stiff- the first to jump?" Lauren's voice sounded behind me, easily carrying over the small space between us, despite the loud cheers. "Unheard of."

"There's a reason why she left them, Lauren", I replied, no hint of defensiveness. It was a simple statement, nothing more, nothing less. I hope. I turned to Bea back. She didn't recognize me.

"What's your name?" I asked the younger girl.

"Bea-um", she stuttered. Beatrice was too sweet, too Abnegation like, and so was Bea. I wanted her to have a name that would match the fire in her, match the courage in her.

"Think about it", I suggested. 2 years ago, Amar had given me a new identity with the new name, and now each of the ones who are landing are going to have a chance to do the same. "You don't get to pick again."

A very brief moment later, she nodded and said, "Tris."

"Tris", I repeated and Lauren sounded the name again.

"Tris. Make the announcement, Four", Lauren grinned. I liked the way her smiles weren't reserved for anyone, the way she could smile and laugh so easily. She was like Shauna in that respect, an open book. Quick to ignite. Quick to forgive. Just another way I could never fit into Dauntless, just another way I am different from them. I turned away from the girls, facing the crowd.

"First Jumper- Tris", I announced loudly, and the Dauntless erupted into cheers behind me. I glanced back at her. She was smiling, in a way I have never seen her smile, in a way she had never allowed herself to. It was refreshing, and the fire in her eyes that I had feared had started to extinguish was shining bright. I smiled a little. I liked her like that. Carefree, smiling, pretty.

__Beautiful. __

I put a hand on the small of her back. My excuse was that I wanted to lead her to the corner of the room. It seemed valid. The scream of the next initiate didn't really get my attention away from the girl in front of me.

"Welcome to Dauntless, Tris", I whispered to her, before moving back to the net.

Before I reached the net, and stuck my hand out to help the initiates out, I was pulled back to look at a grinning Eric, and a confused Shauna and Zeke.

"What?" I whispered, as loud as a whisper gets.

"I didn't miss the encounter", Eric teased, glancing at Tris.

"Shut it, Eric", I hissed, irritated at the interruption from my work. I loathed it, and they __knew __it. And they pulled me away to tease me about a girl, a special girl, but still a girl.

"Wait, that's Bea? The first jumper?" Zeke interrupted.

"Yes, that is Beatrice Prior", I snapped. "Now let me do my damn job."

I turned away from them, moving back towards the net, helping the initiates out.

* * *

I chewed my burger, sitting at a different table from Zeke and Shauna, Eric still in the office, just to emphasize how much their interruption has annoyed me. Tris sat beside me, and another girl, Christina, the Candor loud mouth, sat next to her. I rolled my eyes in annoyance at the banter between them, heaving a sigh.

"Am I going to have to listen to your banter all day?" I snapped, glaring at the transfers, who shrunk back. Except her. She stared back, her head tilted to the side.

"What about you?" She asked instead, and the transfers gave her wide eyed looks. "Were you a transfer too?"

I glanced at her, my eyes roaming her form, taking in her black clothes. The style hadn't changed all that much. Neither tighter, nor more revealing. Just the color. I didn't mind. I stared at her, my gaze as cold as I would have it with anyone else. __She is just an initiate. Nothing more. __

__For now.__

"I thought I only had to deal with Candor loudmouths, now I have got Stiffs too?" I asked harshly, and I almost let my lip curl into a smile, when her gaze didn't waver into a flinch or a wince. I didn't know if it was from being too stubborn to let me see she was intimidated by me, or if she simply wasn't. It could be either.

"Must be because you are approachable, you know, like a bed of nails", she snapped back, and my lips twitched slightly in a silent beg to let it smile. I didn't let it.

I stared at her. __She is just an initiate. Just an initiate. __What would I have done if someone else has snapped back at me? Probably gave them a warning, so I warned her quietly. "Careful, Tris."

"Four", Eric's rough voice cut through the shouts and chattering of the diner, and I glanced at them, abandoning my food, and making my back over to them. I didn't glance back at her. __She is just an initiate.__

"We're sorry", Shauna said simply, gesturing to the three of them, and I nodded, and we left it at that. That was all I needed and that was all they offered. Quick to ignite. Quick to forgive.

"So Four?" Zeke asked, grinning. "You're going to make the move?"

"What?" I blinked.

"On Tris? You're going to ask her out?" He insisted.

"Of course not", I scoffed, and Zeke and Shauna gave me startled glances. Eric just gazed at me, with an approving look. I could only imagine that he was going to do the same. We weren't all that different in most aspects.

"What? Why?" Shauna asked, frowning, disappointed in me.

"She is just an initiate, Shauna", I said. "That's what all she is. It doesn't matter if I know her, or she is Eric's cousin, she will be treated as just an initiate."

"What? Like the cold, emotionless soldier you are with everyone else? Is that how you're going to treat the girl you like?"

"Yes", I answered bluntly. "She is too damn strong to be disrespected by being treated different. I know her. She would take it as an insult. And so will I, and if I know Eric as well as I like to think so, so will he. Eric, take the initiates back to the dorms. Max called me for some work."

I left Eric nodding, and the couple gaping after me, as I made my through the empty corridors to the leadership wing, removing my mind away from her.

__She is just an initiate.__

* * *

I tapped away on the computer, sitting on my bed in my apartment in the leadership wing, staring at the screen, my fingers a blur on the keypad. I frowned at it. There was something wrong, must be wrong. Why was there an account of someone opening up the previous fear simulations? It was not allowed unless in special cases, and definitely not without the permission of all five of the leaders, and I damn well, had never given any of the members a permission to see anyone's fear simulations.

I opened the tampered account, writing down the list of the names whose fear simulations have been seen. I bit my lip thoughtfully, trying to find some sort of reason.

My fingers flew across the keyboard again, the keys clacking noisily, pulling up their files, and reading through them.

Seven girls, three boys, scattered from all over the city. Different ages, different factions, not a single person common for all ten of them. Nothing matched. I sighed in frustration. I glanced down at the screen again.

__Amelia Song. __

__21 years old. __

__Dauntless (manually entered)__

My eyes caught on the words, as I quickly pulled up all the files. Each person was manually entered.

I sat back, exhaling heavily. Being on the leadership, I am pretty well versed with what it means. And also, pretty sure that what is going on is illegal, at least in Dauntless.

The files could only be accessed by a leader, or someone granted permission by the leader. That is 8 people, including me- Eric, Max, Harrison, Blake, me, Xander, Diana and Kris. And glancing at how easy it was to notice the account, I am guessing it was not someone very well versed with the computers or just someone not too smart. I went through the names again.

It couldn't be Eric. He is too smart to leave any evidence behind. It couldn't be Max. He is the one who made it illegal. It couldn't be Harrison. His own result was manually reported, and it could not be Blake. His sister is one, as he told me once, drunk, and I am pretty sure that the guy who beat up another person to an inch of his life, just because he called her a 'slut' won't do anything to harm his sister. That leaves the assistants and the ambassador- Xander, Diana and Kris. I frowned. I didn't know enough about any of them to rule them out or draw a conclusion.

I sighed. At least, I could trust the leaders. They will help me find the person, and what he or she is planning. I shut down the computer, keeping it aside, and lying down, and staring at the ceiling. The ceiling reminded me of the hole above the net, and the net reminded me of the Abnegation girl that fell into it. The thought stuck.

She had grown prettier in the past two years, or maybe, I have developed an eye for it. I couldn't say.

But what I could say was that 'pretty' was too small a word for her. She is so much more than that, so much more than what that little word could even begin to offer. Pretty was the word I would use for the sky when it was orange at dusk, the Sun sliding down the horizon till it disappeared. No, she was more like the Sun, and the Moon and the stars and the flowers and everything in between because she was still too… different for words, even when there is another hiding her glory, even when she will have the scars and patches, even when her light has to travel several thousand light years to see, even when she has wilted into nothing. She was still too much for words.

And she made me feel those things that I had forgotten how to feel. She made me think and feel those things, and words were too small and too minuscule to even begin to describe her. She felt magnetic, as if everything begins and ends with her, as if she beckoned to me in an unaware, silent call, which echoed through me, travelling light years to reach me from beyond the distant stars.

* * *

_**Author's Note: **__**I hope you liked the chapter. This chapter had a glimpse of the starting when Four detected the tampering. I am moving away from most of the original storyline of everything behind the war, because mostly, it wouldn't have made sense with the reach Four now has. **_

_**I hope you like the inner monologue Four had of Tris. Please PM or review if you want to see something, or have some suggestions or any questions.**_


	8. Chapter VII

_**Author's Note: Hey guys! How is everything? I hope you are safe. Stay inside and be safe, guys. Moving on to the chapter, I hope you like it. This is kind of an important chapter because this is where the storyline starts to pick up a little. I wanted to add an interaction with Tris, but it didn't really fit. So, this is a chapter from Eric's Point of View, and this starts from the first day of gun training. The end scene is a bit of a time jump, at the end of the second day of physical training. The training is mostly exactly similar to the one in the books, but since there are no major changes and it is not really important to the story, I figured that there is no need to write a detailed description.**_

_**I hope you enjoy the chapter. Please review, favorite and follow.**_

* * *

**Chapter 7**

**Eric's P.O.V.**

"Thankfully, if you are here, we don't have to teach you how to jump on and off a train", I said, pacing behind Four. He handed off the guns to the initiates and I held back the smirk when he purposely looked everywhere but at Bea, Tris I guess now, staring pointedly at the floor. "Watch as he demonstrates."

Four faced the target and fired off three shots in quick succession. Each pierced through the air and lodged themselves into the bullseye. I raised my eyebrows. Has he ever missed the target? He lowered his gun, before turning to the initiates. "Start shooting."

One of the Candors, Peter, I think, yawned loudly. "But what does, what does firing a gun has to do with bravery?"

I rolled my eyes, opening my mouth to put the damn Candor back in his place. I paused, when Four flipped his gun, pointing the barrel towards Peter. Peter froze, his eyes wide open, staring at him and the gun with an open mouth. Four hissed quietly, "Wake up. You are holding a loaded gun, you idiot. Act like it."

His index finger twitched before he lowered the gun. The Candor's eyes hardened, now that the threat was removed from his head, quite literally. "And to answer your question", he continued. "You are much less likely to spoil your pants crying for your dead mother, if you know how to defend yourself."

The room fell silent. I stared at Four, my eyebrows drawn into reluctant concern.

"Start shooting", he repeated, his gaze rounding on the initiates, daring anyone to challenge him. The initiates silently turned to their targets, picking up the gun, and not a moment later, gunshots pierced the air.

I walked up to the wall Four had walked over to, and leaned against it, my gaze still on the initiates, watching the terrible stances that we will start correcting in maybe another hour. "So, what's up with you?"

"Nothing." He sounded irritated, frustrated and exasperated. Not a good combination on anyone, but definitely not on Four. He didn't live peacefully, nor let anyone else live peacefully unless he eradicated those feelings.

"Yeah? Then why did you put a gun on the Candor's head?"

"He was irritating me, he had a loaded gun, and he was sleepy", he pointed out.

"No, that is the thing that makes you want to punch someone, not shoot someone. Shooting someone usually comes when someone either asks about your past, or threaten someone who you love. Kinda like the time when that guy went a little too touchy with Shauna, and you and Zeke beat the crap out of him", I said, shaking my head.

His gaze snapped to mine, letting me see the darkened blue eyes. "If you _know _I am irritated, don't bring up things that would make me punch _you _in the face, Eric."

"Alright, alright", I placated. "What's got you so irritated, Four?"

He sighed, giving me a serious look. "Look, now is really not the time when we have this conversation. It's probably nothing, but just let me check this out, alright?"

I pursed my lips in thought, before stiffly nodding. "Alright. Keep the attitude at bay, though."

"Yeah, yeah. I am sorry", he offered, turning his gaze back to the initiates. He cringed, his face contorting. "God, they are terrible."

I sighed. "Yeah, they're pretty crappy, even Bea. The Nose is getting the hang of it, I think."

He chuckled. "I never really thought that you would say something bad about Bea, but I kind of expected it."

I gave him an incredulous grin. "Seriously?"

"Yeah, I mean, she is really small. And I guess, for the physical part, it will take some time."

"You didn't just imply that Bea is weak", I warned lowly, and he threw me a scalding look at the accusation. If looks could kill, I would have skipped straight to hell.

"Of course not", he scoffed. "She lacks in physique, not determination. You are only weak if you let yourself be, and there's no way that she'll let herself be weak."

"I would have never let you be with her if you had implied that she is weak", I threw in, successfully gaining for an amused look.

"How do you always land on the topic of my crush on her? _And _she does not need your permission, nor do I. And for the last time, she does not like me."

"So you admit you have a crush on her?" I gaped, turning my attention to the slightly reddening man.

He shrugged nonchalantly. "Yeah, I guess. I like her."

I stared at him for a few moments before turning away from him and walking up to the nearest initiate, which just so happened to be the nose who was doing well. For a year, since that day when he told us about Marcus, we had relentlessly brought up the topic of him being sweet on my baby cousin, and he would roll his eyes, state that he did not have a crush on her, deny that there is a chance that he she may like him if she meets him, and walk away. But after a day of her being here, he was readily admitting that he liked her.

I shook my head, glancing at the Nose, studying his stance, which was better than most, I suppose. "Shoulders further apart, don't turn your upper body away, and shoot with both eyes open", I remarked. He glanced at me, nodded, and made the adjustments, before shooting a bullet. It wasn't bullseye, but it was at least in the inner ring. He nodded his thanks, and I moved on. I glanced at Four, pausing when I saw him standing next to Bea- Tris, I reminded myself.

Four had his face placated into a calm expression, his shoulders squared, and his arms crossed across his chest. Tris had her tilted in a curious and concentrated expression and she listened intently to whatever he was saying. She turned back to the target, and raised a gun, before firing it. She stumbled and then sighed. Four merely gestured at the target again. She fired again. She probably would have stumbled again if not for Four's hand firmly placed on her back. I glanced at the target. There was a single bullet hole in the middle circle, and she offered Four a smile, which he returned with a curt nod. They exchanged a few more words and Four moved on.

I softly chuckled, moving towards the next initiate- another nose, a girl this time. Four may have been crushing for years on her, but to an outsider, he was nothing more than an instructor. I respected his dedication to his work. I turned my attention to the girl. She was, for the lack of a better word, awful. There wasn't a single bullet hole in the target, and her stance was nowhere near close of what it should be. I took her gun, fixed her stance, and handed it back to her, gesturing silently to the target. She pulled the trigger, stumbling at the recoil and the bullet didn't hit the target. I frowned, giving her a contemplating look.

After 15 minutes, she had hit the outer circle. I had considered it victory and progress and moved on, shaking my head. How could someone's aim be _that _awful?

Another hour and a half, and I found myself next to Four in front of the wall again, my head tilted back and resting on the wall. "God, they're still awful."

"They're better, that's progress", he pointed out, gesturing to Edward, who was hitting bullseye at almost every bullet, Peter who was missing more than Edward but still managed to hit a dozen of bullseye, and of course, Tris, who mostly remained in the inner circle but had hit a bullseye or two.

"What about them?" I gestured to the Nose girl, and the big, giant Candor guy, who wouldn't go past the outer and middle ring respectively.

"Yeah, well, what exactly can we do? You and I both helped them as much as we can." He sighed, running a hand through his dark hair, a frustrated habit. "They're still awful. They're probably going to be cut."

"True, true."

* * *

I frowned at the screen, tapping away on my keyboard, trying to figure out the person I was staring at for the past half an hour, from the security footage that Bud had mailed me the night before.

"Who the fuck are you?" I whispered to the picture, frowning. He seemed vaguely familiar, but for the sake of my soul, I couldn't figure out where I have seen him before. I allowed a defeated sigh, staring stumped at the blurry picture of the masked man. Who was he, and what was he doing in the archives?

I sighed again, shutting the computer down, before running a weary hand across my face, glancing at the clock. 3:34 stared back at me in red letters. Too late to go to the damn archives and see if anything is missing. All I want is a good night's sleep and someone to tell me that they have been to the archives, preferably a leader and had just forgotten to enter it in the log, so I don't need to conduct the trial, which was exhausting.

For now, only one thing seemed plausible so I slipped my jacket, jeans and shirt off, before collapsing on the bed, entering a deep slumber as soon as the shutter closed.

* * *

"What's up with you, Eric?" Shauna asked, and I lifted my head tiredly, my eyelids drooping. Her eyebrows were drawn together in a concerned expression.

"Nothing", I muttered, my voice low and hoarse. "Just tired."

"Are the initiates really that hard to handle? Four looks like he is about to sleep too", Zeke asked, gesturing to Four, who had a hand under his chin, holding it up, his eyes shuttered close.

"Nah", Four and I chorused together.

"Just some leadership business", I elaborated. "I don't know what's up with him though."

"Leadership business? What?" Four asked, his eyes snapping open, his eyebrows scrunched together.

"I got a feed from Bud. There is this person going into the archives. There was no permission slip on the program, and well, I checked the footage. I don't know who it was, but it wasn't any of the leaders. None of the leaders went in there."

"Huh", he said, his eyebrows flicking up once in surprise, all traces of sleepiness gone from his youthful face.

"Huh? Huh? Really?" I asked incredulously.

"Dude, shut up with the leadership business", Zeke interjected. "Either tell us what is going on, or don't talk about it. You know the rules."

"Yeah, yeah", I grumbled. Stupid dinner table rules. I would have gotten it out of him eventually.

"Are you staring at Tris, Tobias?" Shauna asked slyly, sporting a grin. I turned my head to look at him, just in time to see him tearing his gaze away from whatever or whoever he was staring at- Tris, I assume from Shauna's comment- and looking at the table, playing with his food, before putting a piece in his mouth.

"Tobias? You don't really call me that a lot", he pointed out. "And please, not in public, and not so loudly."

"Sorry", she muttered sheepishly, before continuing excitedly. "But you were totally staring at her."

He shrugged casually, too casually, the tips of his ears turning red with embarrassment.

"Dude, you are whipped." Zeke grinned.

"Look who's talking", he said pointedly, tilting his head towards Shauna.

"Whatever, dude", he mumbled back.

"Guys, we are totally missing the point here." Shauna groaned in annoyance.

"And the point is?" I urged, amused.

"We have to get them together", she said.

"No", Four said firmly. "I am not going to say anything about my feelings for her to her, at least not in initiation. So stop it, Shauna, I mean it."

"Why?"

"Well, for one, if anyone finds out, then any position she has will be questioned as my favoritism, rather than her skill. Secondly, she doesn't even know me, so no, I am not going to say anything. Just back off. I will tell her if I want, when I want and how I want. Just stop it", he said gently but firmly. "Please."

Shauna sighed. "Yeah, okay."

He nodded, before turning back to his food, staring into space, a serious look on his face. "Eric, what did you say about the archives again?"

"Dude, leadership-"

"Zeke, not now, please", he cut him off, his voice deeper than usual, like it got when he was dead serious. "Eric?"

"Um, well, you know, we are supposed to put it on the record if we allow anyone in the archives. And well, Bud saw someone going in the archives, but I checked, and none of the leaders allowed anyone in the archives, and none of them went in either."

"Was there anything taken? Any files? Any tampering?"

"I don't know. I haven't gone to the archives yet. Why?"

He shook his head. "Nothing, don't worry about it."

"Don't worry about it? Four, what's going on? Is this why you are so irritated?"

"I don't know", he said honestly. "But I have a bad feeling. There is something going on. Just give me some time, please."

I sighed, nodding.

"Thanks", he said, picking up his plate. "I need to go."

I nodded again, frowning at his serious and maybe, worried face. I bit the inside of my cheek, a habit I had picked up from Bea when she was younger, silently watching him briskly walk out of the dining room, a certain restlessness in his step.

"What's going on, Eric?" Zeke asked seriously. "What is Four talking about?"

"I don't know", I answered, before a sudden idea occurred to me. Zeke worked in the control room. "Hey, can you keep an eye out on things? Don't tell them to Bud. Just tell them to me or Four, no one else."

"Things? What things?"

"Leadership wing? Anyone who looks suspicious", I answered, before lowering my voice. "Even the leaders."

Because I had a bad feeling too.

_There is something going on._

* * *

_**Author's Note:**__** I hope you guys liked the chapter. I know most of you people wanted Tris in this chapter, but it just didn't fit in, because Tris isn't close to Four, and I don't think Eric would go and seek her out. I am sorry if the characters are Out Of Character. Please free to point it out, except Eric, he is supposed to be a little Out of Character. **_

_**Please review, favorite and follow. I was a little disappointed from the last chapter's response. Bye guys. Stay safe. **_


	9. Chapter VIII

_**Author's**__** Note:**__** Hey guys! I hope you are all safe and healthy. It's been insanely busy couple of weeks.**_

_**I think you guys would like this chapter. Leave reviews and favorite and follow.**_

* * *

**Chapter 8**

**Four's P.O.V.**

I leaned quietly on the wall, watching Eric demonstrate the kicks and punches. I had forgotten how rough he really was, jaded and dangerous. He didn't seem that way anymore. I had demonstrated the guns, he would demonstrate the hand-to-hand combat. I had better aim than him. He liked hand-to-hand combat better than me.

My gaze slid from his tense and rough demeanor to the small and petite form of his cousin. Her blonde hair was pulled back into a ponytail, her black clothes tighter now than they had been at the first night she was here. Her blue-gray eyes had started to ignite the fire I had dreaded had extinguished again. Was it possible that if she had dripped her blood on the gray stones, instead of the black, burning coal, that one day, there would be no trace of the fire? The thought was depressing and I shoved it out as quick as it came.

Her eyes flickered to mine for a split second. Her blue gray eyes to my deep blue. Everything dulled and faded away, and it seemed like there was just the two of us, her and me. I was thrown back to the day, where she and I had walked through the factionless sector to our houses, the only time I had seemed to have a friend in my long, painful and lonely time in Abnegation. The one time I experienced what the Abnegation silence truly felt to the residents- calming, peaceful and comforting, not the one where secrets hung in the air. Everything about her, it seemed to take my breath away.

I held her gaze, staring deeply into her deep eyes. She was the one to break the gaze, her eyes flickering to her cousin and the spell was broken. I was back in the training room, the voice of Eric's rough voice reverberating from the walls, and the slight stink of sweat hung in the air.

I closed my eyes, leaning my head back. She was here, in front of me, in Dauntless. It still seemed surreal. The resemblance of the situation, though, was uncanny. She was so close, yet I couldn't talk to her, couldn't get to know her. This time, though, it would end different. It won't end with me being a stranger to her. It didn't matter if she didn't feel the same. I would talk to her, and I would be her friend, at the very least, and maybe, just maybe, after the initiation, we could be something more.

"You alright?" Eric's quiet voice asked, and my eyes snapped open, looking at him with a slightly startled expression, taking in his furrowed eyebrows and concerned face.

"Yeah", I replied. "Yeah, I am fine."

"You had a long night?"

"Yeah." I sighed. "I didn't have time to go to the archives. I watched the feed, did some stupid paperwork I had to turn in today, and by the time I was done, it was late, too late to go to the archives. Did you go?"

"Yeah, I couldn't find anything tampered with though. I tried to find some fingerprints, some clues to who was there, but there was nothing."

"I just don't understand. Why would they break into the archives? I mean, the files are all online. That is just backup", I pointed out. "Is there anything in the archives that isn't on the online files?"

"I don't know. I don't think so", Eric replied, sighing again. "I would ask Max, but with the way things are, I don't know if we can trust the other leaders."

"It wasn't one of the leaders", I reminded him, doing a quick sweep of the initiates. "I think they're fine."

"Just because they didn't break into the archives doesn't mean that they aren't involved", he countered. "You said it yourself, there is something going on, and it is definitely bigger than the archives."

I frowned. He was right. I hadn't even thought about it. But those simulations? If that is the same person, then those weren't the leaders. If that isn't the same person, we have got two problems, and we had no idea who to trust. This just didn't stop getting complicated, and everything we did just seemed to make things harder to figure out.

"Let's just get back to the simpler job." I sighed, gesturing to the initiates with their mostly weak attempts at punches and kicks.

"Don't worry, you get Tris", he grinned back, and I rolled my eyes at him.

"Shut it", I grumbled, walking away from him.

I walked up to Will, one of the Erudite transfers, giving Eric a pointed look, before gazing at his form seriously, with a calculative look, making note of the way he hit. Unlike guns and knives, hand-to-hand combat varied. A short and petite person has to fight differently than a giant and built person. People tend to forget that.

"You were Erudite, so you have an advantage of strategies. Fighting isn't mindless punching. Use that brain to get in your opponent's head. Your form is fine for now, just don't tense your arm too much. It would only hurt you, no one else", I observed.

He nodded. "Thanks."

I moved on, leaving him with the punching bag. I walked down the line, taking a deep breath and shooting Eric a heated glare when I reached Tris. He gave me a sly smirk, and I rolled my eyes, turning my attention to the blonde girl in front of me. _Just an initiate. _

I observed her quietly. "You are weak now. You aren't going to win this way." The words were harsher than I intended, but the tone wasn't.

She didn't turn around, but she turned her head to look up at me. "Good to know."

"You don't have much muscle. You are better off using your arms and knees. You can put more power behind them", I advised, watching her stance.

I didn't think much of what I did next. It was impulsive, and possibly stupid to display my affection for her like that. I slid my hand across her abdomen. My palm tingled at the contact. It felt warm, and I could feel her tense underneath my fingers, and underneath my fingertips, I could feel her pounding heart. "Don't forget to keep tension here." My voice was lower and quieter. It wasn't intentional.

_Just an initiate._

I pulled my hand away, walking away. I turned my head when I reached another initiate, Edward, I think. She seemed winded, breathless. It took her a few more seconds before she threw another punch. I like the effect I had on her. I tried not to grin stupidly, but a small smile slipped through.

* * *

"Four", Zeke called and I looked up from the paperwork strewn across my desk. It was exhausting and tiring, and I couldn't wait to get it over with. "Come on."

I glanced at Eric, who was lingering behind Zeke, inspecting him with a careful look. I nodded, not too unhappy about being pulled away from the piles of paperwork I had left. I followed the duo to the leadership wing's apartments that were reserved for the leaders, assistants and ambassadors. It was meant to be safer and harder to get in.

Ten minutes later, I was leaning on the back of the couch in Eric's apartment, looking over Zeke's shoulder, watching him open up several feeds. Despite the dark in the feeds, I could easily recognize the familiar structure of the leadership wing, and I furrowed my eyebrows when he started to pause them.

"So, after you left the mess earlier yesterday, Eric asked me to keep an eye out on everything, including the leadership wing, and the leaders. So, I pulled up some feeds from night time when no one was looking", Zeke filled me in, and then gestured to the computer. "I found this. Several days, no particular pattern, a person messes around the leadership wing. I tried to clear up the image as much as I could, but I couldn't even distinguish if the person was a guy or a girl."

Eric and I exchanged a serious and contemplative look. "Do you think it's the same person?"

"Could be", I shrugged, squinting and trying to identify some distinguishable features. "Makes sense though. He is looking for some specific information."

Eric sighed and Zeke craned his head, giving us an expectant look. "Do you guys know anything about what's going on?"

Eric shook his head and I gave them a slightly hesitant look. "I don't know what's going on, but there's something I found that might be related."

"What is it?"

"I will show you guys tomorrow", I promised. "Right now, get some sleep. It's too late for this, and we all have an early morning tomorrow. This can wait a few more hours."

They gave me unhappy glances, but nodded nonetheless. "Tomorrow morning", Eric said, pointing at me.

"Tomorrow morning", I agreed, moving out of the apartment.

* * *

The waves crashed underneath me, and I stared unblinkingly at them. There was a sense of certain calmness to them that only showed up when you were in utter danger and accepted it. Falling into the chasm, I have always imagined, would not be an act which gave you a thrill to it that Dauntless seemed to seek. Instead, it would be a calm acceptance because you are dead the moment you let go of the ledge, with nothing to hold onto it, not even hope it seemed.

"Couldn't sleep?" The voice was barely heard over the roaring of the chasm underneath. I turned around, tilting my head at the transfer.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, just loud enough. She shrugged.

"I couldn't sleep", she said, moving closer till she was leaning on the railing next to me. "What about you?"

"Yeah, me either", I answered. After a couple of hours of tossing and turning until it read 2:03 on the bedside clock, I had given up and started to wander till I had ended up at the Chasm in hopes of it lulling my active brain that was thinking of theories and reasons for the Archive guy into a calm sleep.

Silence ensued for a few moments between us. I sneaked a little glance at her. She was staring down at the Chasm, her eyebrows furrowed in thought. Her nose was a little scrunched up, and her lower lip was caught between her teeth. I looked away.

"Can I ask you something?" She asked, breaking the silence, and turning her head towards me.

"Sure", I said, giving her a long, curious glance.

"Are you and Eric friends?"

I paused, tilting my head at the unexpected question, that is, until it clicked why she asked that. My mouth tilted up a little. "Feeling curious about your cousin's life, aren't you?"

She looked at me with a startled expression. "How did you know?"

"We are good friends", I answered simply.

"I knew he would like someone like you as a friend", she said, and I tilted my head just a little.

"Someone like me?"

"You know", she shrugged casually, too casually, looking anywhere but me, a hint of red on her pale cheek. "You know what, never mind."

I wanted to say a few things, dwell deeper about what she thought about me, but I turned my head away, squatting my curiosity down. I nodded simply instead.

"How long is the physical stage for?" She changed the topic. I paused, calculating quickly in my head.

"Around 10-12 days, give or take. You will get a break between stages. Then you will move on to the second stage."

"Second stage? What's in the second stage?"

"No initiate knows before going", I answered simply. "But you cannot prepare for it either way."

She nodded. "Is it harder?"

"It's different for everyone else. If you don't have a natural affinity to it, it is harder to pull your rank up. Mostly, unless it is someone special, the top stays the top, the bottom stays bottom sort of deal, not definite, of course."

She nodded again. "How do I get better?" She asked after another pause.

"Better?"

"In fighting", she clarified. "I suck right now."

I tilted my head, giving her another calculative gaze. "Unlike guns, there is no one stance and one approach to fighting. I can teach you how to throw a punch, and what's the best way to fight, but any more than that, you have to use yourself. There are different strategies, and it always depends on your opponents."

"What do you mean?"

"Take Al, for example. He is bigger than you, but also, slower. If you let him, he will overpower you right off the bat. You can't let that happen. You are smaller, and less muscular. You cannot afford to take too many hits. Him, on the other hand, he can take a lot of your punches before he goes down. But you are quicker than him. If you can trick him and hurt him before he can hurt you, you win the fight."

"So you are telling me to play dirty?"

"That's not playing dirty. That's strategy. I told you before, use your knees and elbows."

She nodded slowly, processing my words. "Thank you."

"It's my job", I reminded her quietly.

"Speaking of that, you are one of the leaders, right? And Eric is too?"

I nodded, not bothering with words.

"What's that like?"

"Busy mostly. We resolve issues, do paperwork, meetings, organizing everything. It's not fun but it's not too bad."

"So, if you are a leader, why do you bother with initiates?"

"I like the change. Eric decided to join in this year. Last year, it was just Lauren and I. She is the Dauntless Born instructor."

"I remember."

"You should go", I said. "It's late. You have training tomorrow. Fights. Don't want to lose just because you didn't a good night's sleep, did you?"

"Yeah, yeah I should", she said, sighing. "You should go to bed too. Nice to talk. Good night."

I nodded, bidding her a silent good night and waited till she disappeared from sight before making my way to my own apartment. This time around, though, my thoughts were only on the blonde girl that had managed to worm her way into my dreams.

* * *

She threw her head back and laughed quietly, listening to whatever Al, the huge Candor with terrible aim, was saying to her, waving his hands around. My jaw clenched, but I didn't find the will to look away from the scene. A knot was forming in my stomach, tightening with every second I looked at them together.

"Are you jealous?" Eric asked, following my gaze to the scene that I was torturing myself with, a hint of amusement marring his tone that made me want to punch him.

"No", I barked in denial, fixing a wolfish glare on him, before turning my head to look at her again.

She was looking around, nodding her head absentmindedly to whatever her friends were saying. Her eyes slid to mine, and I held my breath. She curled her lips upwards in a smile, and I found myself relaxing slightly, catching myself before I let myself smile, instead choosing to nod slightly.

"You know it's admiring", Eric said, undeterred by the glare I had turned on him. "You could be crushing on her for years, and no one would know you are anything other than her instructor. You could be jealous and angry one moment, and the next moment, you are calm enough to be mistaken for casual. It gives me a whiplash sometimes."

"I am not jealous", I insisted, even when he threw his head back and laughed incredulously.

"Sure, Four."

"I hate you sometimes", I grumbled.

"Sure you do", he replied cheekily, and I smiled slightly.

Dauntless may have been a choice on necessity, a simple act of defiance at the Choosing when I dripped my blood on the burning coals, but experiencing this, the thrill of shooting a gun, the sense of belonging among the people who accepted without qualms, I couldn't be more happy by the fact that the decision I had made to escape from the bruises and welts had given me something that made me want to see the next day, look forward to it.

Dauntless did not just give me freedom and safety. It gave me a home.

My faction gave me what my blood couldn't.

A family.

* * *

_**Author's Note: **__**So what do you think? Did you like it? Did you hate it? Did you like the talk between Four and Tris? Do you have any ideas of what the person could possibly want? And the little piece I added in the end? Four was jealous. I always liked seeing him like that.**_

_**Review below!**_


	10. Chapter IX

_**Author's**__** Note: Hey guys. How are you? I hope everyone is still safe. It seems like 2020 is a particularly bad year, and hey, I can almost imagine future students groaning at the thought of studying so much history. Poor kids.**_

_**Anyway, I hope you like this chapter. It's pretty important. Also, I know there isn't much for Four and Tris, or even Tris and Eric, but it just doesn't fit. Four and Tris would eventually talk more, like they did in the novel, but this isn't just a romance fic. There is a different plot and I don't think that either Eric or Four would be very attentive towards Tris since they treat her as an initiate, even with Eric's massive character change. Tell me your thoughts about that, by the way. It's not the most usual of things.**_

* * *

**Chapter 9**

**Eric's P.O.V.**

Four wasn't in the training room when I arrived. He still wasn't there when all the initiates had started trickling in. I frowned, my eyebrows furrowed in thought. _Why wasn't he here? Was he sick? He didn't look sick yesterday night. Did something happen about the Archive guy? He would tell me if it was serious enough to miss training, right?_

I shook my head, turning towards the initiates. "Today is the first day of fights", I started, my voice just barely enough to be heard. Immediately, the chatter died down and they turned to me. "Since there is an odd number of you, one of you won't be fighting today."

_Tris was going to sit this one out._

"Where's Four?" One of the Erudite, the one that stays with Tris, Will, I think called out. I never was good with names.

I raised an eyebrow at him and he visibly shrunk into himself. "That's not really any of your business, is it?"

The door to training room flew open and I turned my head towards the entrance, expecting it to be the tall, daunting figure of Four. Instead, the familiar figure of Shauna was hunched over, panting, her hands resting on her knees, trying to catch her breath. I raised my eyebrows in question and she rushed towards me.

"What are you doing here? Where's Four?" I questioned, placing my hands on her shoulders to calm her down.

"Someone jumped into the Chasm, Eric."

"What? Who?" My eyes were wide, and I let my hands fall from her shoulders. Someone jumped into the Chasm every year, and on bad years, sometimes more than that. But mostly, it was the initiates, those who can't bear to be kicked out of the faction or who can't take the brutality of it. And mostly, if it wasn't one of the initiates, it was someone who people were expecting, hoping against it but still expecting- someone who lost someone close to them, someone who was going through a tough time. Dauntless wasn't about everyone knowing everyone like I imaged Candor or Amity was, but news traveled faster than sound here.

"Her name was Amelia. Amelia Song."

I furrowed my eyebrows, trying to think back on if I had heard her name in a conversation. I hadn't.

"Four told me to tell you to let the initiates have a day off", Shauna relayed the message quickly, loud enough for the initiates to hear, glancing at the transfers.

"What? Why?"

"There is a leadership meeting right now", she explained, having caught her breath.

"Max didn't say anything about one."

"That's because Max didn't call it. Four did."

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, I entered the leadership wing, my shoulders tense in anticipation. I opened the door to the meeting room seeing the usual participants there, the leaders, the assistants and the ambassador- Kris, Diana and Xander.

I was the last one there. It was expected. Four and I were the only ones who spent any time, except meals or training, outside the leadership wing. Leadership didn't allow much time for enjoyable activities, and mostly everyone who worked here, stayed here all day, being busy with the loads of work that the occupation carried.

Looking at it from an outsider, there was no change. Max was still at the head of the table, and the rest of them spread out in the positions, an empty seat opposite Four that belonged to me. But being here almost every day for the past 2 years, it was blatant to see the very unnatural tension set across every leaders' face. The three non leaders in the room looked from one leader to another, uncharacteristic nervous looks painting them. I took my seat quietly across Four, who was typing something on his computer.

"Kris, Diana, Xander", he acknowledged, looking up before gesturing to the door I had just entered from. "Please."

I raised my eyebrow at the unspoken command. I seemed to be doing that a lot today. I had almost never attended a meeting with _just _the leaders, maybe once or twice in my admittedly short career as a leader.

"What?" Kris burst out, standing up, staring daggers at Four. "Why? We are allowed to set in every leadership meeting. It is our job."

"I know what your job is", he said quietly, narrowing his eyes in challenge. "You don't need to do it right now."

"What about notes?" Diana interjected smoothly, noticeably much more calmer than Kris, which was to be expected from a former Amity.

"There is no need for that in this meeting."

"You can't do that", Kris protested again, even as Diana slipped away quietly, and Xander, though visibly upset, didn't protest, following the older woman out of the meeting room.

"Kris, get out", Max barked. "That's a damn order."

As leaders, we could order them to, of course, but Four was polite enough not to do that, phrasing most orders as requests, undoubtedly a result of his Abnegation upbringing. Max, on the other hand, never had any qualms, being Dauntless his entire life. As a former Erudite, it was fascinating to experience just how different each response was.

Kris glared at Four and Max haughtily before storming out of the room, slamming the door. Neither of us flinched. All at once, every set of eyes turned to Four.

"I called this meeting because of Amelia Song."

Blake frowned, tilting his head a little. "The girl who jumped into the Chasm last night?"

Four nodded. "A few days before, I noticed a record that the Previous years' fear simulations were accessed."

My eyebrows shot up, and I tensed, sitting up straighter, and out of the corner of my eye, the rest of the three leaders were doing the same.

"What? I didn't give anyone permission", Harrison burst out.

"I didn't, either", Blake inputted.

"Me neither."

I wordlessly shook my head in denial.

"None of us did", Four admitted. "Also, there was a footage that Bud sent to Eric, about a guy accessing the Archives."

"Who was it?" Max asked seriously. Archives had every file on every member of Dauntless, past, present, dependents, members, those who deflected, those who transferred, and recently, on the government's approval, we had started building our records that extended towards other factions. So, essentially when complete, there would be very less information about individuals that aren't found in the archives. But the archives were nothing but a physical copy of the information on the online database, the one thing that was notoriously the hardest to hack or get into, and no one except the leaders had access to it.

"We don't know, but Zeke checked. There was a person, several nights who was messing around in the Wing. We think it might be the same person, and the purpose- to find information."

"What does this have to do with Amelia?"

"I think Amelia did not commit suicide. Her _murder _was staged as one."

"What?" I burst out. "Murder? Are you kidding me?"

"Do I look like I am kidding?" Four glowered, before turning his computer up, the online archives opened up to Amelia's file. "See her aptitude result. It was manually entered."

"Divergent", Blake breathed out. "She was divergent."

"Her fear simulations were viewed, every one of them. In one of them, she manipulated it. She was undoubtedly divergent", Four explained, taking his computer, spinning it around and typing furiously. "This is a list of the people whose fear sims were viewed. All of them were manually entered."

"The person breaking into the Archives wanted the records of those manually entered, and the messing around leadership wing was to find a way to break into the online archives, and get the records of the few we have been updating", I realized. "And they looked into the fear simulations to confirm the manually entered ones."

Four nodded. "I put it all together last night. I just didn't realize they would kill Amelia over it."

"Why did you wait so long to tell us?" Max narrowed his eyes.

"Because I don't know if anyone of you would be involved. This is big. I knew you wouldn't be involved in the fear simulations, but I wasn't sure about the archives. I just didn't want to take the risk", Four explained, after a moment of hesitance.

"And how do we know if we can trust you?" Max shot back.

"And if I wasn't, why would I tell you about any of this?" Four glared back, jaw clenched.

"Maybe that's part of a plan", Harrison interjected quietly, and Four's glare shot towards him, fixing him with a disbelieving stare, before looking away.

"I am not going to kill Divergents, because I am one", he admitted.

"Your result wasn't manually entered", I pointed out, after the moment of shocked silence ceased.

"No, because Marcus suspected I was one and coached me on how to get an Abnegation result. I didn't even know I was Divergent until my fear simulations when I manipulated one of them and Amar told me what I was."

"That's illegal", Blake pointed out. "He cannot interfere with your aptitude result."

"He did", he deadpanned. "Now, what are we supposed to do about this mess?"

"I will put Kris and Diana on it right away", Blake said.

"No", Four and I echoed together.

"What? Why?"

"Look, we don't who is involved in this. I don't want to accuse anyone, but the fact is, we don't know who we can trust right now", I explained seriously. "We need to figure out who is working for us for sure before we tell anyone anything about it."

"We can trust Zeke, I know we can", Four interjected. "But there is a traitor in the control room. He's been hiding the night videos from Bud."

"What about Shauna? She works patrol. She can keep an eye out", Harrison proposed.

"I don't know", Four admitted and I raised my eyebrows in utter surprise.

"What? Four, it's _Shauna_."

"I know, and if it had been _anything _other than this, I wouldn't hesitate to tell her, but you know how she can get with Divergents. It's just, I want to make sure. I am not sure she'll be on board with this. We can't risk people knowing about any of this. There are lives at stake here."

I sighed. "I suppose you are right."

"My sister works patrol too", Blake proposed. "She is divergent. She can keep an eye out."

Four nodded. "Yeah, do that. Max, can you get someone to keep an eye out on all the people whose fear simulations have been viewed? We need to warn them, at the very least. Just make it very discreet."

Max nodded. "Definitely. So we have an eye out in the control room, and the patrols. Where else do we need them?"

"We can involve Tori. She usually knows all the gossip. And Amar, he can get through the fighters that he trains", Harrison said.

"I will brief them in", Four approved.

"But why is someone killing the Divergents?" Harrison frowned, crossing his arms.

There was a brief pause, where every leader looked at one another, seemingly asking silently is they had any idea. Eventually, we sighed, letting the matter go.

"I think that's it for now", I concluded. "We don't know anyone else on board with Divergents."

"Yeah, for now", Max echoed, and the meeting room fell into a brief silence, as we all processed the looming threats on our heads.

There was definitely something going on, something _big_.

And I didn't like it one bit.

* * *

"Tris is going to fight Peter." His tone was factual, not an ounce of feeling into the words. It has been two days since the meeting about Amelia and Divergents that still made my head spin and my stomach have nervous butterflies, not the good one. We had filled Zeke, Amar, Tori and Bree, Blake's sister, and they had been keeping an eye out. So far, they had got no suspicious behaviour.

"I know." I crossed my arms, looking out to the initiates who had begun to trickle in, finally remembering everyone's names. "Do you think she can win?"

"She can, but it's up to her if she will. It's not going to be easy for her though."

"Yeah, well, we'll see."

Four flipped the board, stepping aside. Myra immediately relaxed. She wasn't fighting today. Tris widened her eyes, glancing at Peter, who had a sadistic grin on his face. I grimaced. This was not going to be pretty.

"First fight- Edward versus Molly", Four called out.

The fight was over soon, and despite my steely and calm outer demeanor, I wanted to both drag the moment forever to not see my cousin-cum-sister fight such a ruthless person who hates her and to get it over with.

"Next up- Peter versus Tris."

They step into the arena, Peter smirking, and Tris nervously, getting into a fighting stance, and they started to circle each other.

"If she is losing, don't stop the fight. I would", Four muttered.

"I know how to do my damn job, Four", I hissed back, scowling, nodding nonetheless. I knew him well enough to know what it was about. He wanted to see her pushed to her limits, see just how far she was willing to try. Apparently, being pushed to the limit told you exactly who someone was. It was a test that she didn't even know she was giving. He was weird like that.

"You okay there, stiff? You look like you're about to cry", Peter taunted. "I might go easy on you if you cry."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. This was Bea we were talking about. Before living with her, I didn't know that Abnegation _could _even be stubborn, and except Four, no one was as stubborn as her, not even close. Like hell, she would cry.

"Come on, stiff, just one little tear", he continued. "Maybe some begging."

Her foot shot out, intending to kick him in the side, an impulsive move, and he caught it, yanking it. Her back hit the ground and she scrambled back up.

"Stop playing with her", I snapped. "I don't have all day."

Hearing the taunts, and seeing the predatory grin and his obvious size advantage made her seem like a prey. And I hated it. It made my stomach twist and turn into knots. She wasn't a prey. She never will be.

Peter lunged, and I had to stop myself from wincing every time a punch or kick landed. Somewhere in the first minute, I had fixed my gaze to a spot a little left to the rink, not enough for anyone to notice that I was looking for anywhere but the rink. Even in the first minute when I _had _watched the match, I could tell more than anything Tris didn't want to stay down. She got on her feet as soon as she got her bearings.

I glanced at Four after a particularly vicious blow, which made her cry out in pain. His face was puckered as if he had tasted something sour. He wanted to stop the fight, but he couldn't, because that would be against the rules placed. She hasn't conceded nor was she unconscious. He no longer wanted to see her pushed to her limits, because Peter wasn't pushing her to her limits. He was torturing her, playing with her, and she was too stubborn and prideful to lose without taking a beating. I didn't like it. Four didn't like it. Tris definitely didn't like it. _Damned _hat drawing.

Four shoved the door open and walked out. He hasn't looked away like I had. I looked back at the fight. She was lying on her side, writhing, and if it had been anyone other than Peter, they would have stopped because she was awake out of sheer will. But it wasn't anyone else. It was Peter. And so, he reeled his foot back and slammed into her side, and I didn't hide the wince, grimacing when a high pitched scream ripped its way out of her throat. Four came back into the room, the sour look still present, and I know what we were both waiting for- Peter to stop on his own. She has lost the fight. But he kicked her again, in the side, and my eyes narrowed, shooting to Four's, whose eyes were narrowed in pure anger. I waited for him to call the fight off, only because he had told me not to call the fight off myself, but if Peter landed another kick on my baby cousin, I _would _stop it.

"Enough", he shouted, and everyone looked towards him. His eyes were no longer narrowed but his shoulders were tense and as stiff as a board, his jaw clenched and it was pure control on his part that he didn't glare at the Candor transfer.

"Peter won the fight", I announced quietly to the stunned room, gritting my teeth, trying not to look at the blood flowing onto the fighting rink, Tris' blood. Four made his way towards the arena, carefully lifting her up, and she moaned in pain at being jostled, her eyes closed, and her head rolled to his shoulder, finally losing consciousness. I turned away, towards the initiates, as Four carried her off to the infirmary.

There was an ominous silence in the training room, and there were no grins or nods at a good fight, when Peter stepped out of the arena, grinning sadistically, not even from Drew and Molly, his lackeys. There was a horrified silence, and surprisingly, I saw respect in Edward's eyes. He was easily the best out of the lot, far above even Peter, and despite the brutal loss, she had showed everyone she wasn't weak, that she was worth more than people gave her credit for. People were just too blind to see it.

"Next up- Will and Christina", I called out.

* * *

"How is she?" I asked quietly, when Four returned later that night, when we were all sitting in his apartment to discuss the next move. Only the boys were present with Bree off on patrol and Tori having a busy night.

"Bad", he admitted, grimacing a little. "Peter messed her up really bad. She would be sore for a while, but she will be fine. No broken bones, just a lot of bruises and cuts."

For a moment, I was taken back to when Four had beaten me bad enough to knock my tooth out in our own initiation, but the situation was different and I deserved it when she didn't and I wasn't cruel enough to remind him of it when he felt guilty enough for losing control.

"She was awake?"

"Not when I was there, but Jane said that she woke up for a little bit when her friends were there."

"Who are we talking about?" Zeke interjected loudly enough that everyone looked over to us. Four gave him an irritated look. "Is it Tris?"

"Who's Tris?" Blake frowned.

"Four's girlfriend", Zeke teased and I laughed quietly at the collection of 'Wait, what's from the three leaders and our former trainer, who weren't aware of Tris and Four's crush on her.

"She's not my girlfriend." Four groaned. "She is just an initiate."

"For now", I reminded him.

"Eric", he warned and I held up my hands in surrender, laughing.

"You are hung up on your initiate?" Max asked, giving him a disbelieving look.

"He knew her before she was her initiate in Abnegation. He likes her for years."

"Is that the girl from your fear landscape?"

"Your fear landscape?" Zeke and I echoed.

"All of you shut it", Four ordered, the tips of his ears turning pink, glaring. "I don't want to hear another word about Tris. Not another word."

Everyone kept their mouth shut, nodding obediently despite the hint of smiles.

"Good", Four said. "Now, Zeke, did you find anything in the control room?"

* * *

I made my way through the endless hallways of the infirmary, quietly pushing the door open to the room where Tris was laying. I stopped near the bed, looking her up and down. Her pale skin had already formed the bruises, and every patch of visible skin was littered with blue, green, yellow and black bruises. Her swollen eyes were shut, and the red, inflamed cuts sat patiently on her battered face.

She stirred, grimacing, the pain medicine likely worn off, before her swollen eyes opened, just enough for me to see her blue gray eyes.

"Eric?" She asked, her forehead creasing.

"How are you feeling?"

"I am sore, kind of." She groaned, placing her hands on either side of her, and trying to push herself up.

"No, don't try to sit up. Just take it easy."

She let the strain up go, relaxing back into the pillow, moaning in pain. "I am sorry."

"For what?"

"I sucked."

I let out a low chuckle, my lips curling into a smile. "You know, when I was in my initiation, I lost to Four, quite badly. He knocked my tooth out. I couldn't move without pain for a week."

"Really? He doesn't seem like the type."

"It was my fault. I said some things about his Mom. He is insanely protective about people he love. I learned that the hard way. And you didn't suck, okay?"

"Look at me." She chuckled bitterly.

"I would be disappointed if you took a hit or two and went down. You held your own. You just need to be faster. Don't worry about it."

She smiled sleepily at me, and I moved closer, letting a hand rest on her blonde hair, before bending down and placing a swift kiss on the top of her head. Her eyes were close, and her breathing had evened out, when I pulled away, and I smiled slightly, sighing.

"You did good, sis. You did good."

* * *

_**Author's Note: **__**So, what do you think? It's kind of longer than the other ones I had, though I try to keep a consistent length for each chapter. **_

_**What do you think about the leadership meeting Four called? Who do you think the person messing around is? Why are they killing Divergents? Did you like the small Eric and Tris moment?**_

_**Until next update, read, review, favorite and follow.**_


	11. Chapter X

_**Author's Note:**__** Hey guys! So, it's been about a month since I last updated. I hope you guys are fit and fine. Damn, that sounded like my school teachers with their over enthusiastic responses after school break. I am not overly eager about that.**_

_**So, since it's been a month, I thought a longer chapter was in order. No, it was actually writing an embarrassingly short chapter or a longer one. Either way, this is a chapter that is a little more 4,800 words without the Author's notes. I am not sure if I should say 'I am sorry' or 'You're welcome', so take your pick. I am throwing them both out there.**_

_**I hope you like this chapter. This is full of Four and Tris moments. So, yeah, I hope you like it.**_

* * *

**Chapter 10**

**Four's P.O.V.**

"Am I going to have to listen to your bickering all the way to the fence?" I snapped. Everyone fell silent, and I leaned back out of the open doorway, holding the handles on either side of the door. The wind was cool and pressed against my face and I took a deep breath, closing my eyes for a brief moment.

Tris was looking beaten up, bruises and cuts littering every inch of visible skin, which admittedly wasn't much. She was moving awkwardly, and Al- her giant friend- had to help her into the train. It irked me a little that it wasn't me that helped her in and I wanted to push him away and help her in myself, but I shoved the thought away. It was stupid anyways.

Eric had stayed up in his office, trying to find something about the Archive guy, and who the next person to be dead could be. We kept an eye on most and Amelia's death was a tragic event that wasn't our fault, but another death, it's on us. He was better with the computer stuff anyways.

The train stopped to a screeching halt, the tires squealing. I jumped down, looking around the area, eyes lingering to inspect anything suspicious. Eric was working inside the office, and I was doing a quick sweep outside, talking to Shauna. She told me every suspicious thing that most guards won't do, if only to get it off her chest than actually reporting it.

"Follow me", I commanded to the initiates, sneaking another glance at her. I let out a breath, moving a little away from the train tracks. She always seemed to find a way to make me feel giddy and like a puppy in love, and any feelings I had for her in Abnegation seemed childish and silly to what I felt for her now. It was surreal and terrifying what a single person could do to me, and just how much power she held over me, even when I didn't remember willingly handing over anything to her.

"If you don't rank in the top five, you will probably end up here", I explained. "Once you are a fence guard, there is some potential for advancement, but not much. You may be able to go to patrols beyond Amity's farms but-"

"Patrols? For what purpose?" Will cut me off. The interruption irritated me, but the question was genuine and valid.

I shrugged nonchalantly. "I suppose you will discover if you find yourself among them. As I was saying, for the most part, those who guard the fence when they are young, continue to guard the fence. If it comforts you, some of them insist that it's not so bad."

Out of my peripheral vision, Christina- the Candor loudmouth who seemed to have become a fast friend to Tris- leaned over and whispered something to her, and Tris nodded in agreement, glancing at her briefly, before her eyes returned to me. I suppressed a sigh. Having her around was distracting in a way I hadn't thought was possible. Every movement, every word, every look, it turned my attention to her.

"What rank were you?" Peter asked.

"I was first", I replied, trying to keep my voice to betray just how distracted I was.

"And you chose to do this?" His eyes were wide, green irises glistening in the sun. "Why didn't you get a government job?"

I raised an eyebrow. Did he not listen to what was being said? I vaguely recalled introducing both Eric and myself as leaders on the first day. "I do have a government job. I am one of the five leaders of Dauntless, and so is Eric."

He gave me a wide eyed look, a look of slight awe on his face. I turned around, rolling my eyes discreetly, leading them towards the gate near the Wall. I spotted Shauna on patrol and she raised a hand, waving at me. I gave her a small smile and nod in acknowledgement, moving towards her.

"Hey", she greeted, her gun balanced on her shoulder. "Where's Eric? I am guessing you're here for the field trip."

I hummed in agreement. "He's in the Compound. He had some paperwork to do."

"So, where's she?"

"She?" I repeated, even though I knew who she was talking about.

She gave me an exasperated glance and I rolled my eyes, before a flash of blonde hair caught my attention and I turned slightly, my jaw clenching and my eyes narrowing when I took in the Amity boy with his arms around her. When he pulled back, I recognized the dark hair and the vaguely familiar features of Robert Black, her neighbor.

"Who's he? And I am guessing that is her?" Shauna interrupted my thoughts, and I turned my attention back to her, mentally noting to reprimand Tris on talking to other faction members.

"His name is Robert Black. He was her neighbor, and yes, that is her. Didn't you see her when she jumped into the net?"

"She is pretty", Shauna mused, giving her a quick sweep, before grinning at me. "I didn't know you had a thing for blondes though, and no, I didn't get a good enough glance."

"I do not have a thing for blondes. I just have a thing for her", I said, the tip of my ears feeling hot at my admission, clenching my jaw when Robert brushed his hand against her.

"At least you admit it, and how _cute. _You are jealous", Shauna squealed and I gave her an exasperated glare, glancing around to see if someone heard.

"I am not jealous", I protested. "She just shouldn't talk to other faction members. What's with you guys always making fun of me?"

"You look like a toddler when you are grumpy. It is amusing." She giggled, and I rolled my eyes.

"I do not look like a toddler and I am not grumpy."

"I am kidding", she assured, the teasing look disappearing, her teasing grin replaced by a softer smile. "She is really pretty, though, and from what I heard from Eric yesterday, she is fiery too. She suits you. Good choice."

"She helped me so much after Mom. She doesn't even realize it and she has changed so much from the 10 year old I met, but she means a lot to me. She kept me going."

Shauna hummed in agreement, glancing at her before sighing. "You should go. The train would be here soon."

I nodded. "Yeah."

I walked away, moving towards Tris, just as Robert moved away, back to his truck.

"I am worried that you have a knack for making unwise decisions", I said, when I was close enough to be heard, and she turned around to face me, her arms coming up to cross themselves over her chest defensively.

"It was a two minute conversation", she retorted.

"I don't think a smaller time frame makes it any less unwise." My eyes caught the black bruised eye, and without thinking, I lifted my hand, my fingertips brushing across the bruise. Her head jerked back and whether it was from the pain, however light, or the surprise or just out of sheer will for me to not touch her, the movement stung a little. I sighed, tilting my head, my hand still dangling in the air for a few seconds, before I lowered it.

"You know, if you would just attack first, it would help."

"Attack first? How will that help?"

"You're fast, as I told you before. If you can get a few good hits before they know what is going on, you would win. Use your brain, Tris. I know you're smart enough."

"I am surprised you know that, since you left halfway through my one and only fight."

For a moment, I am stunned into silence. She noticed that _during _the fight? She noticed me leaving?

"Yeah, well, it wasn't something I wanted to watch", I admitted, when her blue gray eyes peeked up to me expectantly, awaiting an answer. She looked taken aback, her head reeling back almost imperceptibly, and she blinked a couple of times. The train horn sounded in a distance and I cleared my throat. "Looks like the next train is here. Time to go, Tris."

* * *

"Everybody up", Eric roared into the dark room, where the initiates lay asleep, and my eyes scanned the covered masses for her. It had been two days since her fight with Peter, and she was moving better, though I think getting used to the pain was much more of a reason than her healing bruises, which were still dark, glistening against her pale skin, and undoubtedly aching. Groans and moans fill the dark room and I moved my flashlight in an arc. Eric and I had convinced the other members to go ahead without us, and they had all moved, hollering and shouting towards the train tracks without a question.

Tris's sleepy eyes found mine, a cute confusion in them. For a moment, I held her gaze before tilting my head towards Eric and she quickly scrambled up and I scolded myself for the brief disappointment that even to bed, her clothes were decent and fully covered her petite body. If anything, I told myself, I should be thankful that she doesn't sleep barely clothed, with so many boys sleeping in the same room.

"You have five minutes to get dressed", Eric said, his eyes flicking around to take in the bare legs of Christina and Myra, and the shirtless torsos of Edward and Peter. "We're going on another field trip."

I spared one last glance at her, before turning and stalking out of the room, hearing the initiates burst into action behind me.

"Who sleeps without clothes on?" Eric rambled. "Especially when they are in the same room as an opposite gender. I am just glad Tris doesn't or I would have to give her a long lecture about modesty."

I smiled briefly. It wasn't often that his brief upbringing in Abnegation bled through his proud Erudite ways or his standoffish demeanor as a Dauntless. Abnegation modesty was something I do not think I would ever move on from, and neither would Eric, it seemed.

"Yeah, I don't think I will ever have the guts to look someone as boldly as Christina did for how little she was wearing", I agreed before adding. "Not that I was looking."

Eric gave me a grin, moving towards the gun and the paintball boxes, handing me one, and taking one for himself. "I know you weren't. You only have eyes for Tris. She isn't your type either way."

"Type? I do not have a type. I have never had a girlfriend."

"Wait, does that mean you're still a virgin?"

My head snapped towards his, eyes widened, hands halting in my movement to adjust the strap of the gun, the gun slung across my back. "Dude!"

"Sorry, sorry", he said, his head tipping back as he laughed. "But seriously though, I never thought you would be a virgin, considering how many girls fawn over you. But come to think of it, I have never seen you take an interest in _any _girl except Tris."

"Shut up", I retorted, the tips of ear burning in embarrassment. "I was still raised as an Abnegation. I do not want to talk about this."

He opened his mouth, a playful comment on the tip of his tongue before being interrupted by the frantic footsteps of the initiates as they stumbled to a stop behind us. I checked my watch, a minute to spare.

"Everyone grab a gun", Eric said, and the initiates hurried forward, grabbing guns and shoving paintball boxes in their pockets. I glanced at her fleetingly. It has almost become a habit to seek her out, just a glance.

The train arrived and I jumped on it, turning around to find her running along with it. I held out my hand, her bruises shining against her pale skin in the moonlight she was basked in. She grabbed it, and I pulled her in easily. She let go of my arm as soon as she was steady and she moved away to sit down on the other side of the car, without looking at me. The abrupt brush off stung, and I clenched my jaw, before relaxing it and sighing.

Eric raised an eyebrow at me when he got in, undoubtedly picking up the subtle change in my mood, being among the few who had picked up my cues. I shook my head, sighing again.

"We'll be dividing into two teams to play capture the flag. Each team will be a mix of members, Dauntless-born initiates and transfers. One team will get off first and find a place to hide their flag. Then the second team will get off and do the same", I explained, keeping my hand on the doorway for balance. "This is a Dauntless tradition, so I suggest you take it seriously."

"What do we get if we win?" Someone shouted, and my eyes scanned the crowd till they locked with Drew's. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.

"Sounds like the kind of question someone not from Dauntless would ask", I replied, raising a challenging eyebrow and he shrunk back. "You get to win, of course."

"Four and I will be team captains", Eric interjected. "Let's divide up the transfers first, shall we?"

He glanced at me, raising an eyebrow before smirking teasingly. I rolled my eyes, shaking my head in exasperation. He laughed a little. _You are choosing Tris first, right? Don't worry. I won't take her._

"Shut up, Eric", I grumbled, the command loud enough to be heard by everyone in the quiet room.

"I didn't even say anything", he replied, laughing.

"But you were thinking it."

"I am not even going to deny that, as long as you got what I was thinking about."

"Yeah, yeah, I got it. You go first."

"Edward", he said, glancing around briefly.

"I want Tris", I said, leaning against the door frame. I frowned. Should I have said 'The Stiff'? But I have never called her that, not in the training room and never outside. I shook my head, rolling my eyes when slight laughter filled the room, all from transfers. They didn't see what we saw in her. Several members eyed her curiously, muttering amongst themselves.

"Peter."

"Christina." I bit my nail, glancing around. Eric never seemed to pick that the game wasn't about strength, it was about speed, and I liked winning too much to tell him that in as many words.

"Molly."

"Will."

"Al."

"Drew."

"Last one's Myra, so she's with me", Eric finished. "Dauntless born next."

10 minutes later, all the members and Dauntless born were divided up in the two teams. I glanced around at my team, my gaze lingering on Tris. She was smiling, covering her mouth with a hand, looking around our team as well. I guess she figured out what the pattern was.

"Your team can get off second", Eric said.

"Don't do me any favors", I retorted, smiling. I wanted first. "You know I don't need them to win."

"No, I know that you'll lose no matter when you get off", Eric said, no real bite to his words. "Take your scrawny team and get off first, then."

I gave him a warning glance, and he held up his hands in silent defense, giving me a slightly apologetic look. _Sorry, sorry, don't get defensive that I called her scrawny._

I glanced at my team, nodding towards the door. I clenched my jaw when Tris gave Al a smile. Did she like him back? I jumped off the train, trying not to ponder on the look too much. A smile doesn't mean anything.

Marlene, one of the Dauntless-born, touched my shoulder, giving me a smile. I had seen her around, mostly on Visiting Day, or the few festivals that Hana insisted on having Eric and I over, her being Uriah and Lynn's best friend. "When your team won, where did you put the flag?"

"Telling you won't really be in the spirit of exercise, Marlene."

"Come on, Four", she whined. I brushed her hand off, shaking my head.

"Navy Pier", Uriah, Zeke's little brother, called out, though little wasn't exactly the appropriate word for him. He was taller than Zeke. "My brother was on the winning team. They keep the flag at the carousel."

"Let's go there then", Will suggested and I shrugged, walking ahead of them, but not leading them. I ignored the casual interactions, walking quietly towards the carousel. I took the flag out of my pocket.

"In ten minutes, the other team will pick their location", I said. "I suggest you take this time to formulate a strategy. We may not be Erudite but mental preparedness is one aspect of your Dauntless training. Arguably, it is one of the most important."

I didn't listen to their bickering, backing off as soon as Will took the flag from me. I may be the captain of the team, but the purpose of this exercise was to allow the initiates to be able to think on their feet, and to learn to rely on each other, to be able to work with each other. It was something every Dauntless needed to learn.

I sat at the edge of the carousel, leaning against a plastic horse's foot, lifting my eyes to the sky. There were no stars. Disappointment fill me over. There was just something about the stars watching down that comforted me, something about the way they peered down, peeked out from behind the clouds, illuminating the night sky. They watched everything, every person, and they knew everything, every story. Did they know mine? Did they know what happened all those years ago, how I felt about Tris, how she made me feel?

The feeling of being watched settled into the pit of my stomach. I resisted the urge to look down and check if it was Tris. Was it? The feeling passed after a long moment. I glanced down, looking around for a glimpse of her amongst the bickering initiates. She wasn't there.

I frowned. Where was she? A movement in my peripheral made me turn. She was walking towards the Ferris wheel. I furrowed my eyebrows. What was she doing?

I followed her as quietly as I could. She was testing a rung of the ladder. She was going to climb it, I realized. I clenched my jaw to suppress a sigh. Guess she doesn't fear heights.

"Tris", I said quietly. She didn't jump, turning around on the rung to look back at me.

"Yes?"

"I came to find out what you think you're doing."

"I am seeking higher ground. I don't think I'm doing anything."

Higher ground? Why was she seeking higher ground? To look for the other team, the answer came to me almost immediately. I smiled. She was smart, smarter than I had anticipated. "All right. I'm coming."

"I'll be fine."

"Undoubtedly", I said. There was a familiarity to the conversation we held, and she paused, giving me a contemplative look. Did she know who I was? Did she remember me? Or was she thinking about something else? Did I want her to remember me? I didn't notice when she started to climb, but when I had snapped out of my reverie, she was already a few feet off the ground. I sighed, climbing after her.

She climbed slower than me. I didn't know if it was because I was taller or because I was physically stronger than her, but soon I had to slow my pace down, my hands next to her shoe clad feet. I didn't mind the pace. My hands were sweaty. _Don't look down, Tobias, don't you dare look down. _

I looked down. The pavement seemed so far away. If I fall, I would die, splattered like a pancake. My breath caught in my throat.

"So tell me." I turned my attention to her, anything to keep it off the fact that I was several feet off the ground, and climbing higher. "What do you think the purpose of this exercise is? The game, I mean, not the climbing."

"Learning about strategy", she replied. "Teamwork maybe."

I wanted to smile at how quickly she caught on. But the strong breeze seemed to remind me every second how high I was, not that I seemed to be able to forget.

"Now, tell me", I continue, gulping air greedily. "What do you think strategy has to do with… bravery?"

There was a pause, as she thought the question over. Just answer, I pleaded. Anything to keep my mind off of it.

"It… it prepares you to act", she answered finally. "You learn strategy so you can use it. Are you alright, Four?"

Why did she ask that? I breathe deeply, through my mouth, and only then, did I become aware of how much I was struggling for air, like I was drowning. I took a deep, steadying breath.

"Are you human, Tris? Being up this high, it doesn't scare you at all?" I blurted out, looking up at her. She looked down, at me and then, past me at the ground. She swayed, her light body moving under the force of the breeze. She gasped, clinging to the rungs, and I reached up, placing a steadying hand on her hip. My fingers touched her bare skin. It was warm and the skin was soft and smooth. I tightened my grip, pushing her gently to the left, helping her restore her balance, before I reluctantly let go.

"You okay?"

"Yes", she breathed out, her voice strained.

We climbed the rest of the way in silence. She stopped when we reached the platform that was at the middle of the Ferris wheel. She shifted away, enough space for me to sit, before lowering herself and dangling her legs over the edge. I pressed my back to the metal support, crouching, letting my head rest. My breaths came short and scarce, and I gulped greedily for air. _Oh God, why did I think this was a good idea?_

"You're afraid of heights." There was no judgement in her voice, but rather a sense of awe and wonder. What was it about me that had made her awed? "How do you survive in the Dauntless compound?"

"I ignore my fear", I replied. "When I make decisions, I pretend it doesn't exist."

She stared at me, unblinkingly for a few seconds. I stared back. Her blue-gray eyes glittered underneath the pale moonlight, and when she tilted her head just a little, the moonlight hit her irises and they _glowed_. She was divine, her eyes glowing and glittering, and everything seemed to fall away around me.

What was she thinking? Why was she staring at me? "What?" I blurted out.

"Nothing." She looked away. No, I wanted to whine, look back towards me. I want to see you glow.

"We are not high enough. We need to climb higher."

I blinked. Did she say climb higher? I thought, my heartbeat quickening at the mere thought of it. She stood up, grabbing one of the bars and pulling herself up.

"Oh, for God's sake, Tris", I groaned.

"You don't have to come with me", she retorted.

"Yes, I do." I am not letting her do this alone. What if she slipped and fell? What if- I shook my head, climbing behind her. Every time I pulled myself up, every feet I go further away from ground, my mind filled itself with horrific images, of slipping and falling, and splattered like a pancake.

"See that?" She said, pointing. I stopped climbing, my arms around her shoulders, right behind her. Her back pressed against my chest, my chin against her head. I turned to where she was pointing. A pulsing light stood out.

"Yeah." I was smiling. "It's coming from the end of the pier. Figures. It is surrounded by open space, but the trees provide some camouflage. Obviously not enough."

"Okay", she looked over her shoulder towards me. Her eyes were glowing again. She cleared her throat. "Um, start climbing down. I'll follow you."

I stepped down, a deep ache in my hands from holding too tight for too long. There was a noise above me like clattering of rods, and then, a strangled gasp. "Four!"

My head snapped up, eyes widening in horror at her dangling in mid-air, kicking her feet, and trying to find a way to put her place somewhere on the Ferris wheel.

Ferris wheel.

The idea was absurd but I couldn't afford not to try. "Hold on", I shouted over the wind. "Just hold on. I have an idea."

I climbed down fast but carefully. If I end up dangling in mid-air, both of us are going to die. _Why did I think this was a good idea? God, Tris, the things you make me do._

I heard a strangled scream of my nickname, a desperation in her voice. I glanced up. She didn't fall, did she? Please don't let her fall, God. Please. But no, she was still dangling, her feet still kicking frantically. I sighed in relief, jumping the last few feet down to the ground, rushing over to the control booth.

I watched it anxiously, even when the wheel started to move. The metal cars can crush her, if she didn't let go at the same time. But she did, rolling away out of the way. I slammed the lever, the wheel squeaking before slowing down.

She was sitting on the floor, her hands covering her face when I came out of it. I knelt in front of her, my hands hovering over hers. Is it okay to touch her? I gently pulled her hands away from her face, holding one of her hands in both of mine. Her hands were warm and the skin on her palm smooth.

"You alright?"

"Yeah."

I let my head fall back and laughter bubbled out of me. I didn't know why I was laughing. Maybe it was relief, maybe it was how absurd everything seemed. But the laugh was slightly hysterical, my chest heavy, and even if she wasn't hurt, she could have been.

After a moment, her laugh joined me. It was a beautiful sound, a slightly higher pitch than her normal voice. She shifted, and she seemed closer. There were six inches between us. I resisted the urge to glance down at her lips. I can't do this here, not now. Why? There was a why. Because- she was my initiate. The thought washed over me like a cold wave, and I stood up, pulling her up with me.

"You could have told me the Ferris wheel still worked", she said. "We wouldn't have had to climb in the first place."

"I would have, if I had known. Couldn't just let you hang there, so I took a risk. Come on, time to get their flag."

* * *

"You won, again", Eric grumbled. There was a hint of bitterness to it, not against me, but against losing. I sighed. He would be unbearable the next couple of days, sore and grumpy, snapping at everything and everyone, and having no patience. He really was a sore loser.

"She did good." I nodded towards Tris who was sitting between Uriah and Marlene, laughing hard at something Uriah did, clutching her stomach. Her laugh mixed with the loud conversations around us. Her head was tilted back, eyes staring up at Uriah, listening and watching whatever he said, did. There was no heaviness, no anger, no jealousy at seeing her so close to him. Maybe it was because how Uriah kept sneaking glances at Marlene, or maybe it was because I just couldn't see her with him, not together, just being really good friends. She was too much of a firecracker for him to handle.

"Four", Eric called, placing a hand on my shoulder. I turned to him. "Are you okay? I lost you there for a second. What were you thinking about?"

I didn't answer, shaking my head instead. He must have had a good enough idea either way. She was still laughing, wiping her face with her sleeve from a paint ball. Her eyes slid to mine, eyes shining with moisture, tiny smears of pink paint freckled upon her face. She smiled at me, eyes twinkling. I couldn't stop my own lips upturning in response.

And for now, I was content to just see her like this, free and wild. Dauntless.

* * *

_**Author's Note:**__** I hope you liked it. I don't really have much to say, so favorite? Follow? Review?**_

_**Be safe.**_


	12. Chapter XI

_**Author**__**'s**__** Note:**__** Hey guys! I know it has been quite a long time. I have been very busy, and I wasn't sure about this chapter at all. I had rewritten it at least 5 times, and I still hate it. What's worse- not posting a chapter or posting a bad one?**_

_**I am very disappointed with the lack of reviews that I had gotten for the past two chapters. Just write 'I liked it', even 'I hated it.' I would appreciate more, of course, but that's enough for me.**_

_**I am not too happy about this chapter, so feel free to criticize. I am going through a little rough patch right now.**_

* * *

**Chapter 11**

**Four's P.O.V.**

"How slow are you, Candor? Do you need glasses? Or should I move the target closer to you?" Eric taunted and I gave him a warning glance, which went unnoticed. He always was a sore loser, throwing a hissy fit till he moved on from the loss. One of these days, he was going to get in major trouble from the temper tantrums. Al attempted another and I winced, looking away at the awful throw, shaking my head, sighing. Eric was not going to be happy about that.

"What was that, initiate?" Eric said, quietly, and I shuffled closer, giving him a wary glance.

"It- it slipped."

"Well, I think you should go and get it." He paused, looking around the still initiates. "Did I tell you to stop?"

The low thud of knives hitting the board boomed across the quiet room.

"Go get it? But everyone's still throwing."

"And?"

"And I don't want to get hit."

"I think you can trust your fellow initiates to aim better than you. Go get your knife."

I moved a little closer, narrowing my eyes at his almost cruel smile. Eric didn't like Al. It was obvious to anyone who knew him even the slightest. Al was a below average initiate, who didn't try. He could probably do good in fights, but he doesn't. He think it makes him kind, but I think it insults his opponents. I learned my lesson in my own initiation. His dreamy eyes at Tris probably didn't help Eric's dislike. He was, after all, very protective of her.

"No!"

"No? Why not? Are you afraid?"

"Of getting stabbed by an airborne knife? Yes, I am!" Al shouted and I sighed again, shaking my head. His bane wasn't his refusal, but rather his admittance. It's not about fearless, but rather, about rising above fears.

"Everyone stop", Eric shouted and the thud of knives stopped, the room growing quiet with every breath. "Clear out the ring. All except you."

I inspected Eric with a wary glance, trying to gauge what the hell he was trying to do.

"Go and stand in front of the target", he ordered and my eyebrows furrowed at his command before it struck me. No, no, he can't be doing _that_. "Hey, Four. Give me a hand. You are going to stand there while he throws the knife, until you learn not to flinch." He was doing that.

"Is this really necessary?" I asked, keeping my gaze on him till he looked at me. _What the hell are you doing? _He looked away, nodding.

"Yes, yes, it is."

I frowned, glancing at the knife in my hand, to the trembling figure of the giant Candor initiate. Refusing and letting Al go will undermine Eric's authority in the training room, which would ridicule him but letting Eric get away with it would be sadistic and cruel. One knife, I decided, one knife and that's it. I set my jaw. _Stop this, Eric, please just let it be a scare tactic._

"Stop it." I closed my eyes, sighing, her voice echoing from the walls of the training room. I turned towards her, giving her a hard look, saying _Shut Up _in every way without actually saying the words.

"Any idiot can stand in front of a target. It doesn't prove anything except that you are bullying him, which as I recall, is a sign of cowardice", she shot back, glaring at her cousin. Eric blinked, giving her a warning look, to which she responded with a hard look. She wasn't going to back down.

"Then it should be easy for you, Stiff", Peter burst out, giving her a sadistic look.

"You are not the one who decides who stands in front of a target and who doesn't, initiate", Eric said, giving him a hard look. But he cannot back down, and she cannot back down and neither can I. We haven't left ourselves the option. "Take his place, initiate."

Tris glanced at me, and then at Eric, before moving towards the target, Al moving away from it. I cannot stop after a knife now. Peter would take it as a sign of bias. I need to prove that she didn't mean anything to me, I need to hurt her, even if it is just a nick. _God, Tris, why couldn't you have kept your mouth shut?_

"There goes your pretty face. Oh wait, you don't have one", Peter sneered. I rolled my eyes. The insults were worse than a 10 year old's. Guess he never grew up after that. Her chin was tipped up, her head barely reaching the middle of the target. Her eyes slid across the room, locking with mine. She took a deep breath, swallowing. I glanced at Eric. Since the whole ordeal started, this was the first time I saw the twinge of regret and compassion that I had been desperately searching for.

"If you flinch, Al takes your place. Understand?" I said. She is at her bravest when she is the most selfless. She won't do it for herself but she will do it for him. Her bravery lied in her selflessness. I need to remind her of it.

My eyes were locked with hers, unwavering, when I drew my hand back and released the knife, the blade cutting through the tense air, and sticking on the board, half a foot away from her cheek. If this was Al, I would have let him go by now, even if he flinched. But this wasn't Al, this was Tris. Bea. I cared about her, liked her, felt deeper for her than I have felt for anyone. Her eyes fluttered close, the relief plain on her face.

"You about done?" I asked. _Eyes on me, Tris. Eyes on me. Trust me._

"No." She shook her head, eyes flowing open, her blue-gray eyes finding mine. I tapped the stop between my eyebrows. She didn't take her eyes off me, not even I parted her hair with the knife, the blade sticking on the top of her head, one inch above her skull.

"Come on, Tris, let someone else stand there and take it." _Remember what is at stake, Tris. Al. The big teddy bear who wouldn't be able to take one knife. You are not a coward. Don't flinch. Don't back down._

"Shut up, Four", she snapped back. _I am sorry, Tris._

I let the knife fly, and the knife embedded into the board, just where I had intended it to, nicking her ear. She lifted a hand to her ear, staring at it. Her eyes locked onto mine, and the emotions played on it like a DVD. Confusion, realization, disbelief, anger.

Eric walked up to her, muttering something too low for me to hear. She glared at him, and Eric swallowed, moving towards me.

"Four, I-"

"Let the initiates go, and get the hell out of my sight", I cut him off, glaring at him. "I will clean up."

"That's enough for today", Eric announced, giving me a slightly pleading look. I shook my head, turning away from him, waiting till the room was empty. Empty except me, her and Eric.

"Eric, what the hell was that?" Tris shouted. "How could you ask Al to do that?"

"Bea, please. I-"

"Get out of here, Eric", I cut him off. "Before I do or say something I will regret. Get out."

Eric walked off, giving her an apologetic and regretful glance.

"Is your-" I started, turning towards her.

"You did that on purpose", she accused.

"I did", I admitted.

"Why would you do that?"

"You know I am a little tired of waiting for you to catch up", I shot back. It wasn't fair to her. She didn't know me, didn't remember me, couldn't possibly comprehend how much she meant to me. She was Abnegation. She didn't know other factions as well as I did. She didn't know what Peter would do to her, not yet. She didn't know why I did what I did. But I couldn't help it.

"Catch on? Catch on to what? That you wanted to prove to everyone how tough you are? That you're sadistic?"

My heart dropped to my stomach, and I clenched my jaw, glaring at her. Her eyes were full of rage, and frustration, maybe even hatred. She hated me. I cannot blame her for that. "I am not sadistic." It had a pitiful edge to it, for anyone who would know me, but she didn't. I don't want to hurt her. She has to know that. "If I wanted to hurt you, don't you think I would have already?"

I didn't wait for her response, didn't wait for her to justify because I did hurt her, even if it was just a nick. I scared her, even if I didn't want to. I crossed the room, clenching my fist around the knife I was still holding, before slamming it on the table, the force enough to make it stick.

The door slammed shut behind me, and I ran a hand through my hair, Tris' frustrated scream echoing in the quiet corridor.

* * *

I stalked into my apartment, pausing when the confused faces of the leaders, Shauna and Zeke greeted me expectantly. I sighed, closing my eyes. Today was _that _night. At least once a week, all of us or at least, all of us who were available gathered in one of the leaders' apartment, usually mine or Eric's and caught up. It kept us connected. It wasn't a party, not even close. Sometimes, we even did some work but the excuse made us connected, updated, and I liked the quiet affairs, so different from Dauntless' usual rowdiness. But right now, I really wanted to be alone, before confronting Eric.

"What?" I snapped.

"What's wrong with Eric?" Shauna asked, and I raised my eyebrow. "He is very upset."

"He _should _be upset. Where is he?"

"I am here", Eric's voice sounded from the doorway of one of the guest rooms, his face wet with water. "Four, I- I am sorry. I didn't mean- I am sorry."

"What the hell is going on?" Max demanded.

"Are you sorry because it was Tris, or would you have been sorry even if it had been Al? How could you do that to her?"

"I can't believe you guys", Blake said. "You are fighting over a random girl?"

I clenched my fists, glaring at him hard enough that he took a wary step back. I took a step towards him, walking towards him, till he was backed into a corner, narrowing my eyes at him. My voice was quiet when I spoke. "She isn't a random girl, Blake. I _love _her. I am _in_ love with her. I will do anything for her."

There were quiet gasps around the room. The admission should have scared me, intimidated me, but it didn't, because I did realize what I felt for her, even if I hadn't admitted it, not even to myself, and the admission was a relief. I _love _her. I had fallen in love with her sometime in the quiet talks between community service, and never fallen out of it. And every day, every hour, every minute, I fell more in love with her. And that's why I never went on dates, never slept with anyone, because I belonged to her.

But she hated me. She hated me because I was willing to throw knives at her friend. She hated me because I _did_ throw knives at her, and because I nicked her. I hurt her. She hated me because she thought I was sadistic.

"She isn't just a crush?" Blake asked cautiously.

"No. No, she isn't. I have loved her for years. But you know what? She _hates_ me. And it's all your fault, Eric. So, thank you so much for that."

"Four, I swear, I- I didn't think it would go that far. I didn't think that she would say anything."

"So you would have been okay if it had been Al? And if you thought she was going to stand by and do nothing, then you clearly don't know her."

"Four, what happened?" Amar asked.

"Eric ordered an initiate to stand in front of the target while I throw knives at him. Tris stopped it. He made me throw knives at her. I nicked her ear, because if I didn't, Eric and I would be accused of being biased towards her, and she will have a hell of a time in the dormitory", I gritted out.

"Eric, you asked him to throw knives at Tris? Are you nuts?" Zeke accused.

"I was wrong, okay? I was just miffed at the loss last night. I am sorry."

"That's no excuse."

"I know it isn't."

I studied his regretful glance, before nodding. "I am not the only person you owe an apology to. Go and talk to Tris. She seemed… upset."

"Did she say something to you?"

I raised an eyebrow. "You think she is going to miss an opportunity to yell at me after what happened? She thinks I am sadistic, and that I want to hurt her. She probably had a lot of things she wanted to say, but I didn't stick around for that."

Zeke winced. "Ouch. You are not doing so well in her department?"

"I was, until last night. Saving her life tends to do that. But throwing knives at her flush it down."

"Wait, saving her life?" Shauna asked.

"I didn't tell you that?" I asked casually, even if I remember not telling them.

"No!" everyone yelled together.

* * *

The training room next day was a mix between excitement, and solemnity. Tomorrow was visiting day, and today was the last day of fights, of Stage I. There would be a progress report, even if we had eluded from cutting anyone. Myra and Al would stay, even if I wasn't particularly happy about it.

I glanced at Tris. She didn't seem angry or upset with what happened yesterday, even if she was on edge, fidgeting angrily around, throwing angry looks at someone. I followed her gaze. Peter's trio. I frowned. Did something happen in the dorms, or did she shift the blame from Eric and I to them? I flipped the board, tilting my head at the satisfied smirk on her face.

Her fight was the last one, and each fight was boring, not because it was uneventful, not with Edward beating Peter, but rather, because there was an anxious pit in my stomach. By the time she stepped into the arena, the air around is thick with a tension that seemed too thick to cut through. I glanced at Eric, beckoning him closer.

"Is it just me, or is Tris on edge?" I asked quietly, when he came closer.

"You noticed too? Do you think it is from yesterday?"

"Too much anger. I nicked her, didn't murder someone. She would have gotten over it, even if she didn't particularly like me now. This is something else", I observed.

"Man, you get all Sherlock Holmes when it comes to her, huh?"

"Sherlock Holmes?" I asked.

"You know, the 19th Century character? The detective?" Eric hinted, sighing when I gazed at him blankly.

"Was that a birthmark I saw on your left butt cheek? God, you're pale, Stiff", Molly taunted.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Eric asked.

"I have no idea", I answered slowly, frowning.

The first blow came from Molly like it usually did. Tris ducked down, driving her fist into her stomach, before slipping past her, keeping her hands up, waiting. Every move was calculated, ever flaw taken advantage of, after that. A kick to her legs and she was down, and Tris didn't wait for her to stand up. She kicked her in the ribs.

"We are definitely missing something here", I said, my eyes widening and my body tensed when the kicks flew, a rage in every movement.

"Tris!" I said sharply. "Stop."

She didn't, not because she didn't want to, but because she didn't hear me. I ran up to the rink, grabbing her arms, and pulling her back just when her leg reeled back.

"You won, stop", I muttered. She stared at me, almost startled, a look of _something_ in her eyes. "I think you should leave. Take a walk."

"I am fine. I am fine now", she muttered, and I nodded, letting go, gesturing to Drew and Edward, who hauled Molly's body up, carrying her to the infirmary. There was a shocked silence, not like the one when Peter had beaten Tris up, horrified, but rather a surprised one, as if they didn't know what to make of things now, which I suppose they didn't.

"Training's over. Everyone, you can go back to the dorms. Tris, you wait", I ordered, and everyone piled away, even Eric, when I gestured him to go away, although unhappily.

"What?" She said, running a hand over her ponytail.

"What was that?"

"I lost control."

"I can see that. I meant why."

"I don't see how that concerns you," she snapped.

"It is when you beat up someone when they are down. That's not like you."

"You don't know me."

"I know enough", I countered. "Now, what happened?"

"Why do you care?"

I walked closer to her, till I wasn't even half a foot away from her, staring down at her with a steely gaze. "What _did_ they do?"

"Are you always this demanding?"

"Do you always answer a question with a question? It's a simple question, answer it."

"Or what?" I didn't say anything, giving her a steely stare, because I could not think of what I will do. I could not do anything. Apparently, she could read me. "That's what I thought. Bye, Four."

Tris turned on her heel, stalking out of the room. She paused for a moment, turning around, and walking back towards me.

"What?"

"Eric explained your reasoning for yesterday."

"Eric talked to you?"

"Last night. He told me you nicked my ear because Peter wouldn't leave a chance to come after me in the dormitory. You shouldn't have. I don't care what he thinks."

"You should. Images are very important."

"Is that why you have made an image of yourself as tough and uncaring?"

"You tell me."

She gave me an inspecting look. "I think that it is just I said- an image. Nothing more, nothing less. Isn't it?"

I gave her a shrug. "I don't see how that concerns you."

She narrowed her eyes, before nodding.

She turned on her heel, walking out of the room, the doors banging shut behind her. And even if the stand-off had ended, I don't think either of us won it. What would have been a win? Did one even exist for me? It seemed every moment I spent with her, being Four, I pushed her away, further and further. How long till the distance between us become too big to even begin to lessen? Can I give her just Tobias when Four is as much part of me as he is? Would she want Tobias?

I don't know if I wanted the answers.

* * *

_**Author's Note: **__**So what do you think? 'It was so awful, Writer, that I could not even get through it all.' I know, right? I apologize. I will try to write better. See you next time. Till them, adios, amigos.**_


	13. Author's Note

_**Author's Note:**_ _**Hey guys! What's up? This is not an update. This is just an author's note.**_

_**I am putting this story on an indefinite hiatus. I am extremely busy right now, and I am starting to lose interest in the story, which is mostly because of the insane schedule I am following right now. Having said that, it's not to say that I am definitely abandoning the story. I may or may not continue it, but it won't be in the next few months, or maybe even in the next year. I need to build up everything, including my interest in the story, again.**_

_**As I have already said, I may or may not continue the story, which is why I am not deleting it. I know it is annoying and irritating, but I hope you understand that I do not have the time to write it.**_

_**Sincerely, **_

_**FallingForBooksAndYou**_


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